Test Run

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Easy Listening

Still sitting at this "puter". I have the media player on listening to BostonPete Radio station which runs easy jazz and inspirational music. The program originates in Boston "d'uh"...but the show right now is by Maria. She is Hispanic and plays selections with a Latin twist.

Right now I am scanning some old slides into my computer...slides from around 1965. Tomorrow I will do some tweaking on them with my Digital Image Suite and then burn them to CDs. I am slowly making a photographic album of my family history based on old photos, slides and documents. Once done...I will make copies and sell them to family members...hey, it isn't cheap. But they will be priced cheap...since most will done on CDs. I would encourage anyone who has old delicate photos and slides to invest in a good slide and film scanner and do the same thing. CDs will last almost forever.

While I am sitting here...of course...my mind is off far away in a time long since past. I envision the short time of my true love...and wondering what she is doing at this moment. I can still see her tears fall...feel her sorrow...know the sadness. Forever I will have to endure this fate. To the end of my days shall I regret the mistakes I made...the hurt I caused...the hate I invoked. Another year has gone by. It is now only a few short weeks...13 years ago...when last I saw her.

The music plays on...my mind reels...my heart aches...and my tears well from within. This is what it is to be human...to be of the enlightened soul. Long periods of stagnation and repetition...followed by short spurts of joy. That is my life...stagnant and putrid. It is the bed I have made...and is the bed I will have to sleep in. It is the yoke that burdens me...and the chain and ball I must carry. My mistakes are without forgiveness...that I should remember them always in the time that I have. "Oh Father...why hath thou forsaken me!" This once said by a simple, honest and caring man some 2,000 years ago as he hung dying on a cross. Of this...I can share his pain and bewilderment. Sigh.........

Saturday Night

Well...here it is at 5:10pm and I am sitting at my computer in my cousin's office.
It was a good day in Downey...warm...but not too warm. I wonder if the weather is as good in Arizona. I suspect that around Phoenix and Tucson it is much hotter. My guess for the southeastern part...since it is over 4,000 feet...it is much cooler. Probably more like where I grew up at in Idaho.

Regarding the computer named "LISA"...still I have had no response from each of the 2 times I have inquired of this person. Maybe it is not a person...rather a cold, heartless machine. Maybe it is the Carnivore program the DOJ wanted to use several years back. Could be a Martian for all I know. Whomever...or whatever "LISA" is...it is clearly obvious that the mystery of their identity will remain just that...a mystery. I wonder why this entity refuses to respond to my inquiries? If you are reading this post...and I know you will...you have gotten my interest piqued. I am curious and apprehensive the same time. What great secret does this mystery person harbor? As you are curious of me...so I am of you. How about some clues? LOL :-)

Saturday Morning

Got up at 6:00am this morning to help my cousin go to an environmental fair in Downey all day. Man...am I tired...seeing that I didn't get to sleep until about 2:00am. Yawn! It seems like it is going to be a great day here in LA. Temps are supposed to be in the mid 80s and sunny. Sweet! Now that's more like typical So Cal weather.

Oh...and I hope that "LISA" has a good day too!

Computer Follies - Part 4

Success! Audio back on line and working. As an added surprise...I checked my mailbox and my 512 megabytes of DDR ram had arrived. I just installed it. Up and running...so far?

Computer Follies - Part 3

The case of the missing sound card. Yep...sound card is not registering. What is the problem this time...since it worked fine before I wiped the Hard Drive and reinstalled XP. It has crapped out again. I tried both the on-board sound and the PCI card I installed. Nothing! Looks like I know what I will be doing tonight. What a ripoff...I can't even play the cdrom for audio disks. So much fun.

Tomorrow I have to go to the City of Downey for an environmental fair. Supposed to last all day. I will probably bring my lizard along...he really draws a crowd. Well back to the computer fun and games

Unbelievable!

I opened up the LA Times this morning...and there it was...a front page story on Border Corruption. It seems that the FBI has been conducting an operation on the US/Mexican Border for about 3 years.
So far...17 military and Law Enforcement Officials have been indicted with smuggling crimes. This includes Federal officials from Customs, Immigration, Park Service and a Bureau of Prisons. Also officials from the Tucson PD. Mostly it was smuggling carloads of Cocaine...but also people as well.

This behavior apparently went on for years before anyone was finally arrested. That's just great. Here the government has villified me for the last 13 years because of a failed relationship...but allowed the real crooks to continue to work and betray this country for years.
I never committed any such acts of criminality against the United States. I was above reproach and would never give in to bribes, kickbacks or other such illegal crap. But the government continues to portray me as a vile sychophant who can't be trusted...yet they trusted all of these professional military and federal law enforcement officials for years before doing something about it.

My question to the government: Why am I still being blacklisted for an affair of the heart back at Glynco...when you are allowing such dirtbags as these to patrol the border, carry firearms, make arrests and wear the uniform? Lay off of me! Please...enough is enough!
When you can let scum like these work at will for years...when you can let scum like my former port director, Arthur Alvarez, continue to still work and carry a gun...than I can't see why I should still be blacklisted from employment? Give me some good reason for these double standards. OK...just one good reason. If you can?

Friday the 13th

Boy...am I scared (lol). Another Friday the 13th to live through..ha!
Can you believe that there are thousands of people so afraid of this day...they won't go outside at all? Not me...it just another day in hell for me. So what is the difference? Although it is a good day to watch the Friday the 13th movies...you know...with Michael Myers and his huge knife.

I am greatly aniticipating seeing Episode 3 of Star Wars...Revenge of the Sith. Yes...beside being a trekkie...I also love star wars. What can I say...fantasy is better than reality when it comes to these movies.

Sunday is the Long Beach anitique swap meet again...I might go and see if I can get some stuff to sell on Ebay. Sometimes you get lucky.

3:00am and still debugging the computer!

Time sure flies when you are having fun :-(
I was having the hardest time getting the stupid internet proxy settings right. It just didn't want to stay connected for more than 2 minutes...then down it went. Hair pulling to say the least. Where is the hammer...I am going to fix this thing right now! Well...it didn't come to that...but it was a challenge. Seems to running well for the time being...fingers crossed. I'm pooped...off to bed finally.

Computer Glitches and Fixes

Well...in the continuing saga of the computer follies. Here is what happened thus far. Because that little HAL.dll file was missing, I could not access Windows. It would not boot from a rescue disk, nor from the CD Rom for reinstall. So...I put the original 4.2 gig hard drive with Windows 98 in as primary. It too has a problem and would not boot up narmally. However...I was able to go into safe mode...access the Partition Magic program installed and run some tests. Then I removed the 30 gig drive, set it as slave, replaced it and from the old drive using PM...reformated the entire thing. Problem solved because every last bit of data was wiped clean.

Then I reset the clean hard drive as master and proceeded with a clean XP install. Now I am at my cousin's office collecting programs I need to reinstall on the clean disk. Everthing should hopefully be up and running in a couple of hours. There is definately more than one way to "skin a cat". I am still waiting on the 512 megs of DDR Ram I bought to arrive...I should see a substantial improvement in speed and performance when it gets installed.

Computers...great when they work like they should. Boat anchors when they don't!

Dream Time Again

Another episode in the continuing saga of these dreams of the person of my desire. Another very familiar storyline last night...she was so close...yet so far away. The dream occurred about 5:00am...so I was unable to get back to sleep once I awoke. It was very realistic...full color and dialog.

Why do I keep having these dreams of her that go nowhere? Could it be love, unresolved issues...probably both. It has only been 13 years since I have been have these intermitten dreams. It certainly doesn't seem lile that long ago...but it has been. Where has the time gone anyway? So here I am sitting at my computer at my cousin's office staring at the wall. On the wall are certificates and such I have put up. One in particular catches my eye. For underneath a certificate of graduation from the Customs Service Academy dated May 1992...is a class photograph. In that pic I am standing...and next to me is her. Looking exactly as I remember her in real life. I remember it so well. We were still happy...her smile was still there. Before the end of the life I knew...the loss of the girl I loved...and the terrible humilation that followed. It was another time in which I am now fo far removed. Fading photographs and fleeting dreams are all that I have to remember her by. All that I have to remember my former life...of who I was.

I like to think that maybe...just maybe...the unknown LISA is somehow connected to her. Maybe an alias...a friend...a coworker...or a relative in which she can know about what I write. My thoughts and feelings expressed without reservation. Life is a crapshoot. Always has been. My life has seen little magic...few miracles. But not for the love we experienced so long ago...hope too would be stricken. There must be some modicum of hope...or there is nothing at all.

Spyware and Adware Madness

It happened last night. My computer I have at my home was attacked by spyware and adware. These are malicious programs that install on your computer...usually without your knowledge...from the internet. My problem was that there was about a minute gap between bootup...amd before my firewall licked in. That was all it took...for shortly therafter...I was innudated with pop-up ads and bogus offers. I couldn't close them fast enough as they just kept loading up.

I checked out my startup menu options and discovered that many of the damn things automatically installed in that menu...so at bootup...they would load. This caused my computer to crash a number of times. I went in to the remove program window and got rid of some of them...BUT...apparently one of them had integrated itself into the Widows root system. Now Windows won't start up. Not even in safe mode. It says that a dll file is missing or corrupt.

I hope I can burn off a rescue boot disk that will work. I would hate to have to reformat that whole drive and reinstall windows...as I have quite a few files and photos on it I need. What a headache. Boy...do I hate adware and spyware! They should treat it like spam...and make it illegal.

Hello LISA!

Although I don't know who...or what...you are. I have noticed that you have been visiting my site with a frequent reqularity. In fact...it seems that nearly each time I post...you are checking my post out soon after that. Do you have some sort of notification service that tells you when I post? I would hate to think that LISA is some sort of government agency collecting data on me.

I hope that you are just a private person who has an interest in me and my site. Could you please contact me via email...or post comments link...so I can see if I am not just being paranoid. When you have been going up against the government as long as I have...anything is possible. Besides...if you know who I am, or have an interest in me...it would be nice to know the type of person you are. I am not asking you to divulge anything you don't want to...nor am I asking for your name...except your first name if you want to.

Since you know many things about me already from my postings...I would like to know a little about you. Perhaps we could be internet friends. Thanks for for visiting my site...and I hope you will continue to visit.

Tony

Rowland Heights Methodist Church - Honeybees

Just got back helping my cousin give a gardening class at a methodist church in the city of Rowland Heights. There was about 80 women of the local gardening club in attendence. They even fed us lunch...so it was worth the effort.

After that we went to one of the outdoor sites and discovered a colony of bees had moved into an old broken truck trailer. We called pest control just in case they were the Africanized "killer" bees. The LA basin has been colonized by those bees and they are very aggressive. The county pest control man did not believe they were the "killer" bees. In any case, he is going to return to the location at 5:00am tomorrow to "gas" them.

Then we finally made it back to my cousin's office and the guy called about his stolen camper shell. He is coming out to get it.

Hey...other than that...it has been a slow day so far.

Stolen Pickup and Shell

I showed up at my cousin's office this morning and was told that they had found a very nice pickup camper shell left behind their building. They called the police and they came out to check it out. As it happened...the thieves left a bag of garbage in it...and in that was some service records of the truck it came from. A check of the NCIC computer showed that the vehicle was stolen and they apparently ditched the shell. The shell was a nice fiberglass one that probably cost well over $1,000 new. A deputy came out and dusted for prints.

Just the same old crime in LA. Of course...I know what it feels like to have a truck stolen...as my 4 wheel drive B2600 mazda was stolen in 1993. In that case...even though I eventually got the truck back...the shell on it was never recovered. Just the reverse of this current theft.

Ebay Stuff

Off to the post office to ship out a couple of small items I sold on Ebay. Not much...just a heat riser hose for a 429 cobra jet engine and an oil cap for the same engine. I can say that Ebay has been a God send. People will buy just about anything you can get listed. For example...just a month ago some lady sold an old grilled cheese sandwich that suppossedly had the Virgin Mary in it.
It sold for $30,000!!!! What a bunch of suckers anyway.

Although last year I tried to sell a Hitler Youth knife my uncle brought back from WW2. Ebay pulled it from auction even though I never showed the swastika or mentioned NAZIs. Of course...I went back on Ebay afterward and found at least 6 other people selling the same knife. I guess someone just didn't like my ad and told Ebay. I told my uncle he would have to find another way to get rid of the knife. He still has it and quite likely I will end up with it.

I have an auction closing on an old portable 8 track player...a panasonic "TNT" player. So far it is up to $60. Not bad for a 15 buck investment. Yep...people will buy just about anything.

Government Delays....As Usual.

So here it is....5 months after TSA gave me the heave-ho...thanks to my now screwed up back. Still...5 months later...I have not been able to get my annual leave money back. Likewise...I can't withdraw the money from my TSP account either. It is highly frustrating. Don't these idiots have any kind of accountability? I guess not. It's OK for the government to withhold and delay paying money they owe you...for months on end. But heaven forbid if you owe them money...they want it ASAP.

It truly is amazing...5 months after my separation...I am still officially listed as an employee. It is a good thing private companies don't work the same way...or our ecomony would really be down the drain. No wonder I can't get anything finalized with these people. I am guessing they are holding off to see what will happen at the EEOC hearing.

Lastly...thousands of former INS employees were claimants on a FLSA suit filed by the AFGE Union. This was done because the INS was found to have violated certain provisions of the Fair Labor Standards Act by not paying overtime like they should have. I am an old claimant in this case...and eventually we are supposed to get some backpay. How much...no one really knows. Mine will be a small amount because I was only covered a little over a year. A friend of mine...now with CIS...will get backpay for the entire period.
He did a lot of overtime...so his amount should be huge. They are paying 100% interest on all owed backpay. That is a pretty good deal.
Supposedly everyone of the old claminants are to receive their money by June 15th. We will see about that...but I am not holding my breath.

Ghost in the Car - Part 2

It happened again! I went out to start my car up and...rrrrrr...rrrrr...tic. The stinking battery drained again. This time the radio wasn't even on. I am thinking the battery is about shot. So tomorrow...I get to look for a nice el cheapo battery somewhere. Not being made of money...I have to get the used things. You can usually find reconditioned batteries for around $20. Too bad it happened today...as I missed out on a great BBQ at my friend's inlaws place. Crap!

On a better note, I finally got my sound system to work on my $5 computer. I had an extra sound card and installed it...problem solved. I also downloaded MSN Media Player 10...which has more functions than the 9 edition. I picked out and downloaded some new skins...they look great. At least something worked today!

Guess I'll have to hang around here and watch movies...put stuff on Ebay. Oh well...Memorial Day will be here soon enough.

Georgia on my Mind

I was going through an old box of stuff I had stored and buried on the bottom...was several old momentos of when I was in Georgia in 1992. First was an old menu from Emmalines bar on St. Simon Island. I remember going there on several occasions...of course the most memorable time was when I ran into my "Anna" and my interloper classmate there. It was not a good time for me. Then I found a price list from Sally's Cop Shop I picked up not far from Glynco.

Lastly...was a friendship card one of my instructors at the academy had given to me prior to my departure. It was from Billie Moxley, who unfortunately, was killed in 1994. She was a wonderful person who understood my personal problems at the academy...and the problems between "Anna" and myself later on.
She was one of the few friends I had there...as it seemed I was hated and reviled by most others as things went from bad to worse. A true friend indeed.

I had not seen these things for over 10 years...I thought they were long gone. Now I sit remembering those times of tribulation, love, hate, separation and rejection. It may be mothers' day for most...but for me it is a day of seclusion, reflection and thought.

Sigh.....