Wednesday, March 26, 2008

A ghost from the past...

Continuing on with my trip back east...a "real" ghost did appear. Well...real in the sense it was a real person and that I had not seen that person for about 16 years. For anyone who has read my writings of the past...you may be aware of an old flame I had and the trouble which came my way. I still carry quite a torch for this flame...and for 16 years it has burned bright. But this is not the center of which this story delves...rather...it is her friend which seemingly, and quite coincidentally, did I see. I mean...it sure looked like her...even after 16 years. Upon setting my eyes upon this person did the floodgates of surpressed memories breach. Was it the friend of my long lost flame? I can't say for sure it was...but if not, the look was uncanny. Her stature, eyes, hair and complexion all seemed to say it was. Perhaps my mind was tricking me...but the resemblance was enough to shock my senses into full retrograde.

All those things which happened, almost 16 years to the date, were as real as they could have been just yesterday. Every minute detail sprang forth like a leopard in the grass. It was like no time had really passed at all. I felt the same inner feelings of dread, sorrow, pain and betrayal.
At the same time however; I was filled with curiosity, excitement and renewed love. I had not felt this invigorated in 16 years. As my mind reeled...my heart raced and my palms dripped sweat. I could hear the palpatations cursing through my veins. Foremost in my thoughts...what has she been doing these last 16 years? Was she still friends with the one who has my heart?

Questions...unfortunately...that went unanswered. I saw this "friend" only a few fleeting times
while I was there; usually during mealtimes at the dining hall. The few times that we looked at each other...she seemed to have a look of acknowledgement. Only once did I speak to her...at the conclusion of my breakfast. In response to my inquiry...she stated that she looked like a lot of people. I guess that it will remain a mystery...as to the identity of this "ghost" from the past.
Regardless of the true identity...the long term effects it had on me will last for years. Ironically, my current training assignment was at the same organization as I had been at 16 years past. In addition, the current class president carried the same first name as did the class president 16 years earlier. A few other odds and ends seemed to fit in as well...which made the experience even more surrealistic.

And one more thing...I ran across a person at this training who stated he knew of my old love interest...and that she was now working near Montreal, Canada...of all places. That must have been some shock from a little dusty Arizona border town.

Ghosts can be real or imagined...it matters little to the depths of the human heart and mind.
Reality gets blurred in an instant...and emotions that seemed dead and buried...not unlike the Lazarus of old...are resurrected. What took me 16 years to bury deep in the depths of my soul...were unleashed in a matter of miliseconds by nothing more than a fleeting glance of a ghost from the past.

1 Comments:

At 2:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well said.

 

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