No rain...thank God!

I lucked out today...as the expected rain held off until our event was over. It could have been a real miserable day...but instead...it was quite pleasant. Overcast and cool...but not too cool. Just about right actually. We had alot of people stop by and talk to us about gardening...a subject I have learned much about since helping my cousin with this the last 7 years. It gives me something to do anyway.

Cal State Long Beach was packed with people. It was a well attended muti-cultural event. Cambodian, Indian, Irish and Mexican folk dances. Particularly the Mexican dances...as the perfomers were all dressed up in the flowing costumes. The women had on their colorful dresses as the music from Vera Cruz State played. I could just imagine "her" dressed in one of those dresses...dancing to the rythm of las canciones. I would have to say that she would look outstanding in whatever attire she wore. My mind wondered in flights of fancy as I watched the performances of the twirling women. For a brief time...all too brief...I again escaped the harsh circumstances of my existence. My soul floated to where my heart lie...and where my thoughts were. She encompassed my realty for the few hours I was there...as my loneliness and heartache subsided ever so briefly.

By the time the event was over...I was snapped back to the present time for which I must still pay for the sins I had done so many years past. Whatever comfort and joy that had visitited me this day...was as swift as a hawk in flight...ever ready to snatch my happiness in it's talons. The greed of which it feeds on my soul cannot be quenched. I am the prey...always hunted..always watched. Ever fearful of what fate has in store next for me...I move with a timid twitch of the mouse caught out in the open far too long. I wait for the inevitable conclusion that I so dread...the thought that never again shall I see her face, hear her voice and feel her touch. Darkness moves with swift wings of damnation...for has not fate sealed my future? It saddens me to no end to think that this may be so. In the course of human events...time does not slow for the wants and desires of a single man...just as it does not stop for the huddled masses. Time is my true enemy...for it has the power to take life...as surely as any assassin's bullet. To steal from me that of which I desire most...never ending love. That is the cold reality of my life...as it was, as it is, as it has yet to be.

More rain for the weekend. How depressing.

The clouds are coming. We are already getting a few sprinkles. The weathercasters are saying rain for the weekend...oh well...maybe we can beat the all time record for LA. We only need a bit over 2 inches to do it. I guess it is something to look forward to. What a dubious honor...seeing how Seattle should be getting all of this rain.

I'm going to be at Cal State - Long Beach tomorrow for a good part of the day...in the rain...oh what fun. Just yesterday was a perfect day. Completely cloudless and near 80 degrees. Today...it was at least 10 degrees colder and overcast. Tomorrow the high in Long Beach is only supposed to be about 66 degrees.

Check out the pics below. Homer is just too good not to put up...as you can guess...The Simpsons are my favorite animated show. As for Underdog...well he pretty much sums me up...a perennial underdog. Keeps on trying to do what is right...but he gets no respect. Just think of the commercial they have been running lately. Some lady calls out for help because her credit card was stolen/lost...and just about every superhero shows up to help her. Thor, Capt. America, Spiderman etc. After it is all over, Underdog shows up to offer his help...she turns him down...and he walks away in dejection. Why does that sound so familiar at anyway? Hmmmm. A day late and a dollar short...as usual. At least Underdog has his girlfriend...sickening when a cartoon character of notorious distinction has a girlfriend...and I do not. Just where is my "Soul of the Moon" anyway? Not here...that's for sure...though I wish she were.

Anyway...before I get too carried away in my lament. Have a nice day!

Underdog....my alter ego. Who better than I to know what makes this classic character my perfect Avatar.  

You just can't top Homer for a lovable loser. 

Springtime Serenade

Since it is spring...and we all know spring brings love and romance...I guess I should enter my rendition of the Springtime Serenade.

To ever whom the nighthawk calls... as moonshine spreads it's glow
When all that was frozen solid...from winter's mighty blow.

To ears that may be deaf...from howling winds of fury
I stand atop the mountain pass...that you should not yet worry.

The time has come for long lost love...to melt its' heart of ice
That in the wonder of this season...rebirth...is the spice of life.

With the time it takes the heavens... to undo what winter has done
The months of waiting patiently...give to us another day...of laughter yet to come.

When butterflys flap their wings...in the light of spring's advance
Should we not now look to them...and delight of past romance.

As comes the months ahead of us...in times of uncertain fate
It brings to me the comfort I know...that Springtime thaws the hate!

Spider Moult

I stopped off at my cousin's office this morning...and discovered that my goliath
tarantula had moulted off it's old skin. I pulled it out of the tank and it was still wet. This allowed me to pose the old skin in a natural spider stance. If you didn't know it was the old skin...you would swear it was an actual live spider.
This is the second moult this spider has done since I have had it. I discovered that certain people pay good money for large spider moults like the ones I have.

If you have never seen one of these things shed their skin...it is quite amazing.
They flip on their backs...and slowly the skin splits along the side. They then slowly crawl outof their old skin. The whole process takes several hours. An interesting science lesson. Next time it moults...I'll see if I can get some pics of it in the process.

Lizard Butte, Canyon County, Idaho 2004 

First good sunburn of the year.

Whoa...boy did I get a good sunburn today. Lobster red. Ouch.
I went down to several of the wrecking yards looking for parts for my prelude. The sun was bright and warm...bouncing off the miles of asphalt...relecting the heat. I was out there for quite some time...and I did find a few parts I needed. A fair day...though I don't know if the sunburn was worth the few parts I got.

If you have never been to one of the large wrecking yards in LA...you don't know what you are missing (lol). Acres and acres of junk cars to search through. Depending on where you go, admission is either $1 or $2. You bring your own tools and remove all parts yourself. You wouldn't believe how many guys drag their girlfriends and wives down to these things. I am sure they really love that.

You have to be fast though...parts are stripped off cars as soon as they get into the yard...and many are ony there for a week or less...before they are crushed. As usual...the good parts go first.
Still...it is alot cheaper than buying parts from the dealer...or parts store. A cheap way to kill off a day...so long as you don't buy too much. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff people leave in their cars when they junk them out. I have found a good deal of money, stereo and computer parts, and last year...an old thick scrapbook from about 1880. They let me have it free. Another thing I found was the sight off of a WW2 Navy gun from a warship. It weighed about 40 pounds. Another freebie...another Ebay item. Every now and then...you get lucky and find some "treasure". Every now and then indeed.

A dune buggy my father owned. This was good fun up in the mountains of Idaho. It could go places 4 wheel drives could not. 

Same old sh*t...again.

Same old Sh*t! Nothing much to report today. Another day of drudgery amid the wheels of injustice. Really...is it no wonder people trust the government less and less each year. We vote and vote and vote...but nothing really ever changes. Corporate America still runs the show. Glorified celebrities are still placed on pedestals. What ever happened to this country as it was envisioned by the founding fathers? Well...maybe I can get a few pics up tonight.

I am feeling so old and tired right now...old before my years. There are times when I look forward to when I no longer have to fight. When Uncle Sam has squeezed me for everything I have, or will have. When my life force drains completely into the vast unknown. As the years pass...that time is coming faster and faster. Since I cannot find peace and happiness here on Earth, perhaps when the time finally comes...and the reaper claims me...I will find it in the heavens above. Yes...I am feeling tired and old today. Thank you Uncle Sam!

One bummer of a Monday Sigh......

I guess I should have stayed in bed this morning. Bad news seemingly travels in threes...which means I can probably expect 1 more piece of bad news today. The government continues to pound away at me...as they have done for so long. And what did they do this time...let me elaborate.

I received 2 letters today...funny they should both arrive on the same day. The first one was from Workers Comp...telling me they were not going to reopen my claim...or pay me back compensation. They told me that my conditions were pre-existing...even though I had never had any problems prior to my injury at TSA in 2003. They wouldn't even pay me the 3 months they owed me prior to discontinuing my benefits from last year. Cheap bastards anyway. I guess I'll have to file an appeal on that decision...but I sure am getting tired of filing appeals.

The second letter is from Social Security denying my disability claim. The adjudicator said she was going to send me to see one of their doctors...she never did and instead denied my claim. She stated that it appeared as though TSA did not accomodate my disability...but that I was not injured enough that I still couldn't do security work. I explained to her that not only is the security field one of the lowest paying jobs in the market...it often requires long hours of standing and walking. That's just great...here I am a veteran...a college grad...a former federal officer and all I am good for is some minimum wage security job. Meanwhile...people who are not even entitled to be in this country...are getting all kinds of training, help and assistance. So here goes another appeal...man I am getting so tired of fighting these bastards. Year after year...it is the same old thing.

Blacklisted...barred...shunned...persecuted! It is never going to end. Even when it is not my fault...like my injury at TSA...I am the one who gets the blame. I am the one who is made to suffer. Why am I the only one who has to give his blood? It is bad enough not to be able to see or talk to the girl I love...but to have to put up with government persecution year after year...is ridiculous. I am not a terrorist...not a communist...not a criminal...not a right wing wacko. So why am I treated like I am all of the time!?

I should have just stayed in bed this morning. Sigh..........

At church today.

I found the faith and will to carry on. I rejuvenated my soul and spirit. I confessed my sins and shortcomings.
But most of all...I told the heavens of the emptiness my life has been since I last saw her so many years past.
I explained to the angels who would listen...my continued love for her...as if they could understand my deepest thoughts. I asked of them a prayer to provide her with happiness...health...and love...even if I could never have such things myself.

That is what I did Sunday moring. A day of rembrance and forgiveness. The weather was outstanding.
So that is what I did at church today.

Too Early In the Morining

Had to get up at 5:00am to go out to Pasadena this morning for a church related event. That's just too early for a Sunday. I would have much rather slept in.
Looks like I'll be dragging the rest of the day...after the event ends at noon. Yawn....nap time already. Another day here in "paradise". Don't let the glamour and glitz fool you...LA is no paradise. As a matter of fact...more people are moving out of here than ever. Crime, traffic and cost of living are the reason cited most. Then ther is the substandard schools and lack of adequate medical care. Lastly...the price of homes...median price now at nearly $500,000! That's for a modest 2 bedroom, 1 bath house on a small lot. OUCH!
Man...am I tired...where's the bed?