No rain...thank God!

I lucked out today...as the expected rain held off until our event was over. It could have been a real miserable day...but instead...it was quite pleasant. Overcast and cool...but not too cool. Just about right actually. We had alot of people stop by and talk to us about gardening...a subject I have learned much about since helping my cousin with this the last 7 years. It gives me something to do anyway.

Cal State Long Beach was packed with people. It was a well attended muti-cultural event. Cambodian, Indian, Irish and Mexican folk dances. Particularly the Mexican dances...as the perfomers were all dressed up in the flowing costumes. The women had on their colorful dresses as the music from Vera Cruz State played. I could just imagine "her" dressed in one of those dresses...dancing to the rythm of las canciones. I would have to say that she would look outstanding in whatever attire she wore. My mind wondered in flights of fancy as I watched the performances of the twirling women. For a brief time...all too brief...I again escaped the harsh circumstances of my existence. My soul floated to where my heart lie...and where my thoughts were. She encompassed my realty for the few hours I was there...as my loneliness and heartache subsided ever so briefly.

By the time the event was over...I was snapped back to the present time for which I must still pay for the sins I had done so many years past. Whatever comfort and joy that had visitited me this day...was as swift as a hawk in flight...ever ready to snatch my happiness in it's talons. The greed of which it feeds on my soul cannot be quenched. I am the prey...always hunted..always watched. Ever fearful of what fate has in store next for me...I move with a timid twitch of the mouse caught out in the open far too long. I wait for the inevitable conclusion that I so dread...the thought that never again shall I see her face, hear her voice and feel her touch. Darkness moves with swift wings of damnation...for has not fate sealed my future? It saddens me to no end to think that this may be so. In the course of human events...time does not slow for the wants and desires of a single man...just as it does not stop for the huddled masses. Time is my true enemy...for it has the power to take life...as surely as any assassin's bullet. To steal from me that of which I desire most...never ending love. That is the cold reality of my life...as it was, as it is, as it has yet to be.