Friday, May 20, 2005

Alma, My Alma

In the lines of your face...I question times past...when often I pray that these times always last .

In the sparkle of dust upon yonder hill...that does not come things...that I fear I should feel.

In tempid long torture of my lucid mind...of darkness surrounding...of evil I find.

In body of age and wrinkes of pain...that these are the things...I find most arcane.

In visions of beauty with eyes full and clear...in thoughts that have happened...I find her love near!

In large lonely forests with trees dark as night...the paths are forbidden...though try as I might.

In spirit of sorrow and tears as of rain...I can never forget...the sound of her mystical name.

In deft sounding meadows of silent repose...of that which was broken...two hearts that grow old!

In oft many thoughts that time may appease...that should I not cry...for what used to be?


Alma, my Alma...a soul of the night...forever is given...the gift of moonlight.

It now remains, that far should I see...that which was one...may now never be.

Alma, my Alma...my long lost loved one...what brings to the present...the past has undone.

It now can be said of time and of space...that whatever may fail...shall love not be erased.

Our souls are of heaven...our hearts are of man...for whatever we do...can we now understand.

It now stands to burden the last days of my life...that where ever you are...have I yet paid the price?

Alma, my Alma...you know who you are...that which started forever...still calls from a far.

And so do I ask...do you feel the same...that together our short time...was not wasted in vain?

Though now I see in long pensive thought...the question asked most...by those most distraught.

How can it be...after all these long years...your heart keeps on beating...after all of those sad tears?

That is the mystery for which I can find no reply...just Alma, my Alma...please don't say goodbye.........

Friday once again.....and the mystery bird.

Another Friday is here again. Tomorrow I have to help my cousin out at the LA Bug Fair...which is being held at the LA Natural History Museum. I might bring Shelob...my giant spider...just to show the folks what a "real" spider looks like. Should get some good comments out of it. I have had numerous offers to sell it...one for over $400!

I'm sitting at home on this computer right now listening to some ethnic Greek music on Radio Arion. I can get a number foreign stations via Windows Media Player. It is all free. What a deal...and it plays without commercials all day. So here I sit...but not for long...as I have to do some laundry. Yuck! I hate that because of the time and hassle it is...and the laundromats are usually packed with people.

Oh...I almost forgot. I was awakened by my cat this morning...as he was freaking out over something. I then saw it...dark wings beating around the room. Was it a bat? No...not a bat. It landed on a bookshelf and my eyes focused in on it's small dark body. It had a yellow bill...and white speckles on it's irridescent body. It was a starling...a male starling. How it got in...must of been through an open window in the kitchen. It flew around for awhile as I tried to catch it. It took some doing...but I finally took it into custody. Starlings are among the most filthy and lice infested birds in the world. As I grabbed the filthy thing...I noticed small lice already jumping to my hand. Nasty! I got rid of the infested thing immediately and then promptly took a shower...just in case. Filthy...filthy...filthy birds. Worse than common street pigeons. Needless to say...that window was closed and will remain so until the outer screen is repaired.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Nothing much today....just the usual lamenting and a small poem.

Today was very routine. Same old routine...each and every day. What a rut. I perform as does a robot...as does an animal of little intelligence. I follow the standard life of such a creature of this world...food...water...sleep...survival. I no longer strive to fulfill my ambitions of years past. Those being crushed under the weight of the many mistakes I have made in this life.

Why should I strive...when all I will face is determined rejection and disappointment. Why look ahead when all the joy I have had comes from the past? Why should I even concern myself with dreams long since vanquished. I will never trust another person...another official...another love. In my younger days...I was still filled with trust and concern. But no longer do these things hold sway over me.

Yes...it is fact that my love of Alma still holds true and strong...but this is the only thing burning in my soul. All else has been quenched by the corruption and stench of human betrayal.
My fight for redemption against the state has worn me down. If not for the love of her which still burns...I would have likely perished in obscurity and solitude by now. So long as I can hold the memories of what we briefly shared so long ago...I cannot lie down and die.

I wish I had the courage to call and see what she is doing...if she would forgive me...and allow me to try and bury the ghosts of the past. I mean...what can the government do to me now? After all...they have destroyed me as it is. My life...career...reputation...and love; all have been snatched from me as would a wolf in sheep's clothing have done...among the flock.

I lament what she meant to me...what she still means to me. I cannot escape her ghost from the past. I see her in my dreams...as do I think of her in my days. I stoke the fires of
guilt and regret for what deeds have caused her pain. The years pass without resolution...as we remain of separate ways and of worlds apart. Because my life was completely torn asunder by those times of tribulation...I cannot so easily forget the misfortunes of the past. When I cannot work...pay bills...find happiness and face destitution...then I think of her. What is left of my life still revolves around my deep love for her as it was in the beginning...so is it as today.

I would wish for a crystal ball...that I could know that she has forgotten me and the hurt I had caused. That I could reach out and remove any vestige of sorrow that would haunt her still. That I could make the wrong things...right. That I could relieve my soul of the burden it has carried for so long.


Oh Crystal Ball!

Oh crystal ball! Show me a vision of the future...that I may remove my sins of the past. That I may heal the heart that was broken...and dry up the tears that were cast. That I might find in her eyes some forgiveness...of love that has survived to this day. For in the light of the morning there after...let Heaven send her troubles away.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

The New Mayor of Los Angeles...Mexico?

Well...in case you have not heard...we have a new mayor here in LA.
Antonio Villaraigosa easily beat incumbent Hahn. I hope he does what he says he is going to do. I am a little apprehensive because of his softness on illegal immigration. People may not remember...but when Proposition 187 was defeated...he was standing by Mexican President Vincente Fox in Mexico City. Together they proudly proclaimed they helped defeat the measure. Actually...it passed with ease in the electorate. It was a single federal judge who gutted it and made it useless. I hope he knows where his loyalty lies. I would hate to think that Fox is actually pulling his strings.

Bienvenidos a la Estado de California del Republico de Mexico! I can imagine such a greeting at the California in the not too distant future. This is particularly possible with Southern California. It pains me to see the the United States crumble from within. Great empires normally do. Remember the Egyptians...Greeks...Romans...and Soviets? So it is with the US.

I would feel more comfortable if Villaraigosa had not been with Fox...supporting Mexico's interfering with the internal politics of the US. Then again...Fox recently ate some big time crow by infering that black americans were the lowest class of humans on the totem pole. Not to mention Fox declaring that it was perfectly acceptable to import thousands of illegal aliens to the US. I never want to hear Mexico harp about the US interfering in their internal affairs...when they openly interfere in the internal affairs of the US! Prop 187 was a US internal affair. Controlling illegal Immigration into this country is a US internal affair. Hypocrites!

Well...I hope that Villaraigosa does not sell LA out to the special interests of the La Raza and MeCha...or Aztlan. Time will tell.
I wish him a successful term of office so long as he represents all of LA and the United States.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Secretos en Los Angeles y Houston

I am truly amazed! In case you have never seen it...sometime tune in to UHF Channel 62 (here in LA). This is a Spnaish channel and they aire 2 shows at 8:00pm (pacific time) called Secretos "secrets".
The first one takes place in LA and the second one in Houston, Texas.
Both shows are 30 minutes each...back to back. The shows are similar in format to the show "Cheaters"...except in Spanish.

But...they are much better than Cheaters in my opinion. How they get away with what they do I just don't know. Their investigators break into homes, offices and cars and hide microphones and mini cameras. It sure seems illegal to me. Unlike Cheaters...Secretos takes more risks...shows more risque footage...and allows the parties to fight longer. They really are great programs. Although the programs are in Spanish...you don't need to know Spanish to figure out what is going on.

So...if there is nothing on tv and you are bored to death...check out Canal 62 y las programas Secretos. 8pm Lunes al Viernes.

Monday, May 16, 2005

C-SPAN Border Report

At 4:00 am this morning, Pacific Time, C-Span aired a 3 hour program on Border Security. They were broadcasting from Douglas, Arizona. I cranked up the computer just before 4...and dowmloaded RealPlayer. I could barely keep awake...maybe lasted 15 minutes! It's a good thing C-Span has DSL and higher service. As it was...I got up again 4 hours later...reloaded their program for streaming video and watched the whole 3 hours. Nothing I really haven't heard before.

However...I was hoping to catch a glimpse of the girl I still love. I have not seen her in 13 years...so I was curious what she looked like now. Unfortunately...they showed very little of the employees for the whole 3 hours. Needless to say...I did not see her. Crap! At least I tried. They did show a few good pics of the border crossing area and some of the fences that are erected in the vicinity. If she was working...it was not where they were filming at, or she was on another shift. Better luck next time I guess.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

2nd test

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