The Summer of Blues

Here it is...June...the summer time blues. Well...not officially summer yet...but it sure feels like it. As you can see...I never made it to South Dakota for my nephew's wedding. The typical reason...lack of money. It sure sucks not having money. It's going to be one of those summers I guess.

Meanwhile...I read a report in the LA Times recently about the increasing violence along the US/Mexico border. Not encouraging at all. Just a few days ago the newly appointed police chief of Nuevo Laredo, Mexico was assisinated by a hail of gunfire. He had only been in office a day or two. Right across from Laredo, Texas. Too close for comfort. It seems 2 drug cartels are fighting it out for control of the US drug market...and Laredo has more truck traffic than any other border crossing. Vicente Fox claimed he was sending army troops there to regain control...I'll believe that when I see it.

Of course...when I think of border violence...I hope that Alma is not get involved in any of it down in Arizona. It would just about kill me to find out she was hurt in any way by the increasingly violent behaviour all along the border. I almost hate even seeing any news of border incidents along the Arizona border. I am just happy that she was not involved in the 2 year sting the FBI conducted in Arizona that resulted in the arrests of at least 15 civilian, military and federal law enforcement officers.

I sure wished I knew how she was doing these days. I am just too afraid to call and see. After you have been through what I have been through the last 13 years...you would understand my predictament. That has been my life the last 13 years. But with everyone so attuned to stalking and harassment...a guy just can't take the risk anymore. Remember the "old" days when pursuing, courting and wooing a women was seen as romantic? Hollywood still portrays the male pursuit of a women...even extreme pursuit (stalking) as a glorious romance. Just look at all the movies and books that are cranked out each year about romance and drama. It just isn't fair. I am forced to live a lie...to live alone...to live away from the woman I really love...because our society has such mores and double standards. Act on anything anymore...and you risk going getting sued...or going to jail.

So another year of suffering I must endure. So it has been...year after year. I am really surprised that the "gestapo" didn't come down on me for the letter and picture I sent her back in February. Oh well...there is still plenty of time left this year...and the government never forgets, nor forgives. Yes indeed...it is the Summer of Blues. Sigh........

The Ynot Files - Giant Beetle Larvae

Check out my latest story on getting giant beetle grubs on my theynotfiles blogspot site. Since blogspot won't let people post website addresses...just replace tonystimemachine2005 with theynotfiles in the web address and it will take you right there.

The Handwriting within Alma's Soul

I was just going through some old papers of mine from an investigative file I had. Inside were numerous statements from people back when I was at the FLETC training course. I was just looking at them and noticed how each persons' handwriting differed. Some were sloppy and illegible...others were small and crowded...yet other people wrote with great flair. I would guess mine should fall into the sloppy category. I am speaking of cursive writing...of course.

One particular statement caught my attention more than the others...as the writing was beautiful...almost artisitic in nature. The letters were looped and swirled in a way that would remind me of caligraphy...that writing of the days of old. Such beautiful writing would have to belong to a person with an inner soul filled with character and sensitivity. Someone who could express themselves more of the written word...than of the spoken one.

It was of no surprise to see that the author of that letter was none other than the woman I have loved for so long. It was a style of writing that I would not soon forget. It was a shame that her writing had to be for the condemnation of myself. I would have much preferred that her words of written expression and beauty would have been directed to a much more intimate feeling.Words that would have reinforced my love for her...and that of her for me. I think of such beautiful writing being wasted on things that should not have been. Artistic flow should be reserved for human interaction that transpires between souls...not for the use of the omnipotent power of an imperialistic nation. To use such beauty in such a corrupt manner is an afront to all who strive for individuality. I condemn her not...as it was the power and intimidation of the state...which had caused her to use her beautiful skills for such a nefarious task.

In a way...she too has the artistic soul that occupies my body. Kindred spirits in the way of human enlightenment. I know all too well her sensitive nature...her delicate ego...her inner beauty. It resides in me to this day. Never to forget these things shall I bring to my death. When all is but dust and earth...water and fire...heaven and hell...shall my memories hold tight the bonds of my eternal spirit. Bonds that connect with her in ways I cannot possibly comprehend. It is the way of the heavens...that which rose from the dust...took breath from the wind...and fell silent evermore to the earth. The cycle of life perpetuated in the story of everlasting love. Surrender we will the weak bodies we occupy in the short time we are here...yet forever last in silent repose the spirit of love...which does not die.

Her handwriting is on the wall for all to see. Yet as all may see...it is written for only one. So as it is with her...it is the same with me. "Words...like silent raindrops fall...into the well of silence."

Another "herp" and "entomological" photo expedition.

Yesterday I went with my cousin on another "expedition" for various reptiles, arachnids and insects in Riverside county. This was a photo expedition with our digital cameras. We find the flora and fauna and photograph them. Well yesterday we had much better success in locating the elusive animals then the last trip.

We located about 5 Desert Woodrats...2 adults and 3 young. Woodrats are also known as "packrats" for their habit of taking shiny objects and storing them. The most collected things they were hoarding were paint ball pellets that did not explode when shot.

A real bonus was to see 2 California Horned Lizards (Horny Toads) within a few feet of each other. Great pics there.

We saw 2 black and yellow striped California King Snakes...but they were so fast we couldn't get any photos. I found one black and yellow scorpion that was most aggressive and ready to sting. I also found 2 green and yellow centipedes that were about 3 inches long. We also located some very unusual beetles...about an inch long with yellow elytra (wing covers) black thorax, red heads and black and red abdomens. Very striking color patterns...perhaps some sort off Tiger Beetle.

All told, it was a good nature trip with lots of local flora and fauna to see.