THE THIEF OF DREAMS - Chapter 5

It was shortly after this that I received a response from the administrative board informing me that I was getting a new judge to hear my appeal. With that....I wondered why? It had only been a few months since that hearing....and a new judge would be unable to assimilate the complexities of the case. Filled with questions...I called the Board and spoke with my former judge's assistant. I was informed that he was no longer with that agency. She had no idea where he was at.....or what happened.....as if I were expected to believe that.
I tried several times to find out what happened......but never the truth did I get. All I was told was the he was no longer with them. I thought this very curious indeed. Another mystery without an answer. So I had to proceed with the new judge. And so it went....as the official protocol was as slow as molasses on a cold day.

Meanwhile, I was preparing another path to disseminate the information that I had aquired from my source. The thought of what these people were able to get away with made me sick. But, you may wonder.....what was the document I was preparing to reveal? Well....it was an official report of investigation from the Department of Justice, Office of the Inspector General.....a report about the actions of some of my superiors. A report of corruption, power, greed, lust, infidelity and cronyism of the power elite. It detailed the misdeeds and crimes of those who were most responsible for my downfall.

I was to learn later that I was one of the few officers who had actually been removed from the service for failing to complete the academy. Most other officers who failed were assigned other duties within the district...but that was not to be my fate. Vengence ran deep....and my head was called for....show no mercy. Had I not known about the double standards of the elite versus the peonage, I likely would not have continued the war. But as it were, fate had allowed me one small victory in the conflict. One small morsel to feast upon.

The more I read that report and the associated news articles....the more determined I had become to strive for equality and justice. The findings of the IG concerned the District Director, the Port Director and the Assistant Port Director. The misconduct and crimes they had been found to commit in that report, and others I had obtained, were shocking. I was infuriated that they were so motivated to set me as an example....when their own house was not in order. This was even more poignant given that they were the people in charge of one of the largest districts within the service.

My anger was barely contained. Why was I so mad? I had felt betrayed by those that had condemed me, as they were no better than I......in fact, they were worse. Whereas I was motivated by pure love and nothing more......these people were motivated by power, lust and malice. They had believed that they were untouchable locked inside their feudal kingdoms. The way they were able to cover up and hide their own failings was truly an art of deception. I was never afforded that option. And yet, most kept their jobs....their careers.....their dignity.....and their dreams. I was more determined than ever to disclose the circumstances of the actions of which they engaged....the misconduct....the criminality! When were they to pay for their sins....as I had been made to do over my love of a woman? For them, they believed there would be no day of judgement....safe in their ivory towers.

I was willing to do my best to crack the walls of those towers...even as I was made desolate by them. The risk was great, as the empire was mighty... and many of those before me that dared to defy it.....were silenced. It was a risk that they themselves helped to create and perpetuate. Had they treated me fairly....treated me as they had treated themselves.....forgiven me as they had forgave themselves....no cause of action would I have undertaken. But I do not forgive easily those who operate outside of the law.....and twist it to the detriment and degradation of those whose lives are but a trivial thing to them. Wealth and the corruption of power had little meaning for me.

And so it was that I, and others, made them squirm....like worms found at the core of a rotten apple. I had made numerous copies of that report....and spread them about I did....to Congressmen, Senators, investigators and various government agencies and media. Though the impact was slight at first, as the empire was indeed powerful.....a concerted effort on several fronts, by myself, others being persecuted, the union and the media......shook up the ranks of the power elite. What followed was a series of reassignments, demotions and early retirements.......just in this one district alone.

The fallout had also taken its toll on my allies....the president of the union was removed from his post...a former supervisor and friend was removed from the service. For yet others, retribution and retaliation awaited. Of course....I had already been declared "persona non grata". From sources still inside the regime....the witch hunt was on and others would be made to pay for their actions. It was a time of change...from one regime to the next. Over the next several years...a number of senior staff occupied the positions of district director and port director. In that respect....the rebellion was successful. The ivory towers they had once occupied....crumbled.

But the empire was resilient....and they marshalled new forces....and bore down their vengence upon me. My life would be impacted for many years to come for my actions. And still, through all of this....my love for "Anna" was not diminished....and, not unlike Helen of Troy....an empire was shaken by the power of love.

To be continued................

THE THIEF OF DREAMS - Chapter 4

So it went....as the police denied and stonewalled....I set about uncovering what had happened. As it was, I happened to locate a witness who was working at an adjacent gas station the night of the theft. She was able to correctly identify my truck as the one she observed that fateful night. It seemed odd to me that the police never bothered to canvas the area for witnesses. She remembered the incident with clarity. This is her story of what happened......

She was waiting to be picked up after her shift about 10:30pm the night of the theft. It was then the she noticed the cars pull out of the small strip mall where my truck was parked. There were 3 vehicles all together. It was like a procession. One gray sedan....then my truck.....then another sedan behind. She observed 5 male hispanics....2 in the front car, 1 in my truck and 2 in the second car. 4 of the men were described as about 20 years old and well groomed. She said it appeared as if the 5th male, about 40 years old and well groomed, was directing the operation.

They had tried to get some gas into my truck, but were initially unable to open the locking cap. She thought it was rather strange because one of them was holding what appeared to be a screw driver...trying to get the cap off. She also thought it unusual that it took them over 15 minutes to get $5.00 worth of gas. There were plenty of people out that night, yet they did not seem to be in any hurry. She was even able to locate a copy of the original gas receipt for the fuel they bought. She gave me it. The time was clearly printed as to when the crime occurred. I asked her if she would mind relaying this information to the police. She stated that she would if she were contacted. I called the Perris PD and was unable to speak to officer "Sage". I spoke to the desk sergeant, who told me the information would be relayed. It apparently never was.....as the witness was never contacted.
I called them back several weeks later and was told that the investigation had been closed. No reason was given. I asked for a copy of the police report they had....and was told I would have to get it in person. I arrived at the station and had to sign several forms first. It was then brought out, several pages long. I was told that it could not be released to anyone outside of the criminal justice system. The report was so stamped..."Sensitive, not to be released to anyone outside of the criminal justice system".
The summary of the report was minimal....no suspects...no leads.

I was told there was nothing more they could do. I received a similar story from the Riverside County Sheriffs Department. About a week later....I had requested that the evidence be returned to me. The Perris PD stated that they no longer had it, nor did they know what happened to it. Well......I thought.....was this just some wierd coincidence....or was there more. I came to the conclusion that most likely.....there was more. I was never able to identify who the 5 hispanic males were who were involved in the theft....it was like they did not exist. The more important question was how did my truck get used by 2 separate(?) groups with apparently nothing in common....in less than a week. Why wasn't anything stolen from it other than the shell and the contents of the bed....and why was it located only 6 miles from the place it was stolen? Mysteries that remain to this day. I conducted an extensive search of the area surrounding the theft location....and the recovery location. Every dumpster, garbage can, trash pile, ravine and illegal dumping sight was checked. I never found one shred of anything that was stolen that night. Not one paper, document or item was ever found.....and there were boxes. I checked numerous times with the Perris PD and the Riverside Sheriffs office over the years.....and nothing has ever been recovered.....at least that is what I am continually told. To what extent had this latest twist of fate meant? I did not know......
but, whatever it meant.....it could not be good. Fate had not been kind to me....and I had seen no reason for it to start now.

I could only guess at the reasons for the theft....to get their hands on documents that could incriminate the ruling elite. To foil my plans of getting the settlement invalidated and to avoid sanctions for fraud. Lastly....to try and exterminate my identity....and break my will once and for all. Throughout this period...my hatred simmered.... and I would not back down. Not this time, not this way and not in this manner. I had taken enough abuse at the hands of the empire. Enough shame...guilt and repentence. I would continue the war...as they had done to me.
With that....I drew from my inner strength, my soul and my love of "Anna", the will to carry on the fight. It was my love for her that provided the spark of life....for without that spark....my life would have been as empty and useless as last weeks newspaper.
And again...I would think of the crimes and misdemeanors that my superiors had committed.....while they rejoiced in my downfall....my failure and my persecution. They thought I was as weak as a feather....that I had finally been beaten down. But, they were wrong in their premature assumption. There misdeeds and continued persecution only increased my anger and will to fight. This was America....damn it......not the Soviet Union, or NAZI Germany! I knew my chances of victory were slim against the endless might of the empire.....whose pockets of wealth were never ending. At least I would go down fighting...as a patriot of the ideals of the founding fathers. So it was then that I used my own "secret weapon"......the fruit of the mole.....the gift she had given me weeks earlier. They would feel what it was like to squirm under the scrutiny of judging eyes.....as had been done to me for so long. How was their perfection? Were they not human? I was soon to find out......as the war carried on.

To be continued.................

THE THIEF OF DREAMS - Chapter 3

It would take me several months to prepare my case. During this time, I still had the truck in which I had driven to Georgia the year before. A 1987 Mazda 4x4 with a black fiberglass topper. For those few months I was helping my friends out in Riverside County......I had my worldly possessions stored within the back of that truck. Everything that identified me was there. My certificates, passport, identifications and case files......the reports of which I had received. Military records....college records.....everything I owned was in that truck. I was assured by my friends that it would be safe....secure....not to worry, I was told. I had always kept the back double locked.....there were no windows and it was impossible to assertain what was stored within.

However, in the weeks leading up to what fate had in store, I had noticed strange people watching me from afar. Several times I had returned to their house to find the door ajar.....as if someone had been looking for something. To say I was suspicious would be an understatement. I would be ever more wary and cautious. It was then that fate took control again. I was not prepared for what lay ahead......again. I remember the incident well.....too well. It was to be the jumping point from the paper war.....to an attack on my identity, my property and my safety. It was if the responsible parties to the crime had wanted to wipe clean my identity...as if they knew what I had secured in the truck.

The night started like any other. I was later asked by my friends if I could pick up their daughter at an event.....as they were working. I did as they requested and retrieved her after practice. Upon my return to their office....it was rather late. They had an event planned and told me to park my truck in the front of their office.....and get it in the morning. They assured me that in the years that they had been there....there was never any problems.
Like the overly trusting fool I was....I believed what they had said was sincere. So we left....and I made sure my truck was locked all around. It would be the last time I would see it in that condition. Upon my return early the next day.....yes....it was gone. And with it my life. The Perris police sent out an officer to take the report. Officer "Sage" was the responding officer. I filled out the statement....he completed his report.

So it went for about 1 week. My friends let me drive one of their cars in the interim. They seemed highly apologetic about the ordeal. Of course......I was feeling the strain and stress of this latest setback. I was angry, upset that I could be so stupid. I was willing to chalk up the experience as just another car theft in the crime ridden southern California area. I guess that I had not suffered enough to satisfy whatever penance the heavens wanted. As it was though....I had the forsight to hide additional copies of my most important documents in a secure location...so all was not completely lost. I still had copies of the reports I had received from my source. The feeling of defeat was again creeping up on me. What would I have to do to satisfy fate and the heavens? I could not understand what was happening to me....why I was again made to carry such a burden. And all the while I still pained for my love.....so far away.....it seemed like a dream. And so it went.....

Then one day about a week later I received a call from my credit union saying that the truck had been recovered. I was told to call the Riverside Sheriffs Department....as they were the ones who found it. I discovered that it had been towed to the impound lot. Upon my arrival....I was shocked to see it in such good condition. The only damage was the ignition had been pulled out and.......the black fiberglass shell had been forcibly removed. All that was left in the empty bed....were a few leaves. I had obtained the recovery report and it seemed so strange...here was a custom 4x4 with fancy wheels....stereo and other nice things....but they were still there. Then I discovered it was recovered only 6 miles from where it was stolen. I got in the truck and it started right up. I drove it back to the office. By far though....the strangest was yet to come. I wanted to get to the bottom of this and prosecute whomever was responsible for the crime. I called the deputy who had recovered the vehicle.....this was his story.

The vehicle was being used to commit an armed robbery of a movie theater and that the manager had chased the 2 suspects. They were unable to get into the truck...so they left it....and some ill gotten cash. They fled on foot across the freeway and disappeared. They were identified as 2 young black males...dressed in gang attire. Of interest was the blue bandana tied onto the steering wheel. The next day I called officer "Sage" of the Perris PD...as he was the investigating officer. I was told that they were unable to find evidence....no latent fingerprints..nothing to identify the criminals, nor any witnesses. At this I decided to check myself...as I had seen a number of prints and other evidence. Sure enough, I looked under the seat and found the tool that was used to pop the ignition out....with a very readable full print on it. The bandana, which was on it when it was recovered...had numerous hairs in it. There were prints seemingly everywhere...and they were not mine. I knew that the police had taken prints, for under the seat....was a print duster....with dust still on it...of the type used by the police. I bagged up all the evidence I could find and took it to the Perris PD for their investigation. I was told it would be given to the detectives.

That was the last I heard from the Perris PD for nearly 2 months. During that time...I had assembled what documents I had left and filed the motion to reopen the case of my separation based on fraud. I has called Officer "Sage" numerous times....trying to find out what was going on. Each time he would try and avoid any discussion about the theft. And then.....no leads....no evidence...no anything! So it went for several weeks. After getting this stonewalling for those weeks.....I finally demanded that Officer "Sage" tell me what was really going on. He seemed somewhat afraid to tell me....and did not want to get involved. I pressured him some more. Then, to my surprise...he said he would tell me on the condition I would drop the whole thing....and leave well enough alone. With that...I was told that a government agency was involved with the theft. At first...he refused to tell me the agency.....but I told him I would file a complaint against him if he did not. I guess he did not want that and abruptly told me it was the "DEA". With that he said that he had already told me too much and did not want to hear from me again. He refused to talk to me anymore after that. The case seemed to be dead in the water.

I thought...why would the DEA be involved in this incident? I was not, nor have I ever been associated with illegal drug activity. What could possibly be so bad as to put that kind of fear into the investigating officer. I did not know for sure.....but I had my suspicions. Not satisfied with the apparent dead end....I decided to conduct my own investigation. The revelations of which would again shake my world and beliefs. It was becoming clear that in whatever way....the empire was somehow involved....for what purpose, or to what extent, I did not know. For I had something that the police did not have, or count on me having....a witness to the crime!

To be continued..............

THE THIEF OF DREAMS - Chapter 2

It was only a week after the hearing that I picked up my materials, documents and evidence from my attorney. As I was reviewing them.....I noticed that something was not quite right with the brief of the government. Something was askew. It was then that I discovered the deceipt. I read again the documents that I had found....the same ones submitted to the judge weeks earlier. It was no wonder that the judge had held me with such contempt at the start of the hearing.......why he said he would rule against me had not I taken their settlement. For what was in the brief was beyond the pale of anything the empire had tried thus far. It was so plain to see that in the real world.....the plan of the empire to rid me of their employ.....would have failed. But, this was not the real world.....one that should have existed within the framework of the Constitutional protections we should all enjoy.

It was there...in black and white....a testament to the power and the might of the empire. Laying in front of me was the proof...in that the empire was so motivated by its' zeal for my persecution....it would deliberately construct new termination notices that I had never received. New notices that changed the reasons of my untimely departure. They had constructed the new notices to give more power to their argument that I was the incarnate of evil.....to be smitten at all costs. I still had the actual notices I had received....and they were nothing like the ones the government submitted to the judge! I was infuriated by this deception. Why had my attorney not caught this gross miscarriage of justice? I don't know. But as fate had done before....this was only the start of what would be more torment at the hands of the empire. The anger within me swelled and I had wanted to make these people account for the misdeeds. My trust of fairness completely shattered. I found the strength, will, courage and heart to mount an offensive.....another salvo in the paper war. I had been in retreat for so long I almost forgot who I was, or where I came from. The anger I felt forged a new sword made of paper and ink. For the first time in over a year.....I had felt some purpose creep back into my life. Inspired by the anger within and my continued love for "Anna", I was determined to seek justice!

And so began the the war of redemption. Armed with new life and purpose....I engaged the empire head on. Though the proof looked solid enough....I needed more. I needed confirmation of my suspicions. According to law.....I had but 30 days to challenge the decision of the judge....the validity of the settlement.....the actions of the empire. 2 weeks were nearly gone. I filed a certified letter with the administrative board asking them to verify what I had suspected. What I knew to be the truth. I received a reply about one week hence.....and in that response......I was told that they could not locate the suspect documents that I had shown them. They could not confirm that the empire had taken the actions of which I accused. How could this be? I had both sets in my grasp. An ill wind of stench came from the response I received.....a sinking feeling of collusion within the realm.

Baffled by the response I had received.....another certified letter did I send. More forceful, more demanding and more specific! Time marched on....and soon the deadline had passed to file. Several more days had passed and the second response had arrived. This time however, they did not deny my allegations....in fact, they confirmed exactly what I had suspected. But as fate would have it, the date of the response was one day later than the deadline....I had not even prepared to file the official motion to set aside the settlement yet. Time dragged on as I was forced to find a new place to live....as I could no longer afford the small apartment I had. As I contemplated my next step, something unexpected happed......I was invited to stay with some friends in Riverside county....and I helped them with their business, their affairs and their children. This was my scenario for the next few months. During that time, however, I received a call back from an agent still in the employ of the government. She told me that she had some sensitive documents regarding activities of the power elite within my district....and I could have copies if I kept her out of it. She was my mole....my source.....as I eagerly accepted the gifts of which she bore. Upon reading the documents....my anger raged against the empire. How dare they persecute me for my love...when they themselves were guilty of so much more!
My anger grew....as would a fire in the winds of hell. So much torment I had seen, so much sorrow, so much shame and guilt. For what? So the "good 'ol boys" can run amuck in their own filth...immune from the fate of mere mortal men. I was not unlike the sacrificial lamb of old. Perhaps they felt as if my blood would assuage their own frailities....their own crimes. And so I prepared myself for another assault....though the dead line had passed. I was determined to challenge the empire....nonetheless.

But as before....fate had another plan....one that would cross into the territory of the bizzare...the unexplained.....and of criminal intent. All the while...I still pained for my lost love....and the silence of her fate filled me with great sadness. And time marched on.

To be continued................

EPISODE 2 - THE THIEF OF DREAMS - Chapter 1

Here I am....about to release the second in a series of my struggle for justice, equality and redemption. This episode documents events that have transpired since my desolation and exile by the mighty empire of the United States. The timelime picks up after my defeat and surrender in the courtroom of 12 years past. It was a time of mourning and rebuilding. The life I had once known was now just a memory. My career as an officer of the empire over.....the love of my life was lost......my fincial insolvency imminent. I had reached the bottom strata of life......just a heartbeat from destitution. I was crushed....my soul mortally wounded....my heart split in two.....for my love of her would not die.

I became so despondent as to shun the outside world. The shame I had brought upon my family. I had not yet told my parents of my fall from grace. It was more than I could bear. I felt as though the weight of the world had trapped me beneath its foundation....with no escape. There were no resolutions to the conflict that I had endured....resolutions that would ease my pain, heal my sorrow, mend my heart......and most of all.....remove the guilt and regret.
I never got to explain myself to my "Anna", never to apologize to her, never to have asked her forgiveness.....or to allow me to forgive her. The wounds have remained open for many years since....I am trapped in the fabric of time....destined to echo the tragedy countless times over.

I would have been content to let sleeping dogs lie.....to fade off into the horizon....little known or remembered for the battle that was waged, or all that was lost. As had been my lot in life since the beginning, fate took another turn. It was unwilling to let me rest in peace. Weary from the long fight I just experienced....I thought I could have no more strength, no will, nor emotion for which to carry on another battle against the might of the empire. I had so wanted to reclaim any last vestige of a life. To rebuild the foundation of my soul, to evaluate my beliefs and faith. And I would have been satisfied to accept these modest crumbs.....but for the turn of fate.....it should have been my final battle. But vengence runs deep in the halls of the empire. It was at this time that I discovered just how deep. For hatred of me still simmered in those marbled halls. I was soon to learn that fate was my companion once again.

Alone I had started this journey....and alone I would finish it! I was now an enemy of the empire. A person who had to be surpressed under the yoke of silence....no lie too great, no deception too wicked to carry out. So it was my fate to once again rise up from the ashes of my desolation.....to give the common and weak a voice. All the while....missing the one I loved.....secretly wishing for another chance that would not come. And the war resumed, after but a brief lull. The cold war of injustice, power and tyranny. The thief of dreams had come to steal again....as would a scoundrel in the cold and stillness of a winter night.

To be continued...............

MY SOUL OF THE MOON Chapter 10

The closer I got to Los Angeles, the more anger I felt. Not against "Anna", her roommate, or even my rival. No, my anger was turned toward those in charge at the academy, my union and my district. I was angry at the way I was treated after the staff knew I was having problems. I was angry at the way my union abondoned me and for my district, who let it happen. I could never fault "Anna", her roommate, or even my rival for what happened. If anything, I would blame myself. We were unfortunate victims of a situation that got out of control. I wasn't prepared to fall in love, was not looking to fall in love.....but in the course of human events....there are some things that just happen. So it was with me. It just happened.....how was I to know I would fall in love with her? How would I know it would all end so tragically? I was just happy that "Anna", her roommate and even my rival did not suffer the career ended consequences I did. The anger welled even greater as I neared Los Angeles.

Upon my arrival back at LA, I immediately contacted the president of my union and told him what had happened. He seemed mad enough about it and vowed repeatedly that he would save my career. He claimed, over and over, don't worry.......your job is safe. I wish I had the confidence that he did......but I knew these people.....all too well. There would be no level low enough that they would not stoop to. No dirty trick foul enough to pull. Time dragged on as the empire shuffled me around, trying to figure out with to do with me. Eventually, I was assigned on a detail to the district office.....I surmised to keep an eye on me. My job was to review "green card" renewal applications sent from the employees at LAX. I was still told by the union......don't worry, we filed a complaint with the Federal Labor Relations Authority about them denying you representation. The next months passed quickly, as I was tucked away in a small cubicle......reviewing I-90 applications.

One day though, my supervisor informed me that I had a phone call. It was from a staff member at the academy. I was told that I needed to report the next day at a certain room.........for they were going to repeat the panel I had at the academy. They were trying to circumvent a possible order from the FLRA ordering my full return to duty. I only had a day this time. So once again......I sat before another panel while I was grilled and they passed around the letters, poems and drawings for new sets of eyes to see. The union president was with me, but he was of little use. He told me to keep silent....as much as possible. The head of this panel was......no surprise.......the assistant director of the academy. He told me that they were "redoing" the panel because of the complaint the union filed. I was promised that if it were found that I was unfairly dismissed, I would be readmitted to complete the Spanish course. Oh course......they had no intention of ever having me back to complete the Spanish course. They were just trying to save their asses from a mistake they had made.
The results.........no graduation certificate.........no completing the Spanish course. My career ever more in jeopardy.......and time marching on.

So they kept me stashed away in a small cubicle....reviewing those I-90s. Then one day, several months later......I had some visitors. No one bothered to warn me......to let me know who was coming. As everyone else ducked out, I was left alone. I felt a cold chill as I noticed 2 figures standing over me. Unfortunately for me, it was the District Director and Assistant District Director. The DD wanted to know who I was and why I was on detail to that office, and not at the airport......since I had my uniform on. I told him, and then he became angry and demanded to know why so many I-90 forms were being returned from the airport. I plainly informed him that because those employees were not completing them correctly....and would not be accepted by the service center. He became very angry with my response and started to yell at me. At that time the ADD interrupted him, he calmed down.......and they finally left. As it was, the very next day......I received my proposed notice to end my employment. It was to take effect in a little over 30 days. Of course I told the union.....and they still told me not to worry......my career would be safe. Well.....fate had another plan......and my career was not safe. In fact, the union was unable to stop the chain of events from happening. My separation came as had been promised. Separated for failing to complete the academy was the reason cited. So in this, the academy director had his revenge against me. His refusal to give me my certificate of graduation had ended my career. The union was powerless to stop it.....or so I thought. However, later it was revealed to me through sources that I was sacrificed so that the district would settle several other pending employee cases. The union, as had they done at the academy, abandoned me once again.

Of course, I appealed the separation to a quasi-official court called the Merit Systems Protection Board.....an administrative board of the empire. The day of the hearing came soon....too soon. The affair was to take place in a courtroom at the district office. The union refused to represent me, instead, passing me off to an attorney of limited practice. The day arrived. The courtroom was typical of any courtroom......the bench, opposing party tables and observers area. Many of my co-workers and friends were in attendance........it was a very sombering experience for me. When the hearing started.....the judge asked the government if there was any final settlement offered to me. They responded....just the one we had before.....he must resign. The judge told me that if I did not accept the settlement, he would write an opinion against me I would not believe. This was before any testimony was given. My attorney told me that if he did as threatened........it would cost me close to $100,000 to fight it. I still wanted to fight....to try and redeem something of my life. It was inconceivable to me that I would be in this precarious position over my love of a woman. Still, I wanted to fight these bastards.....for all that they had done to me.

But then a curious thing happened. My attorney informed me of something that would change my life as I knew it. I was told that the government had ordered my "Anna" and her roommate to fly to LA and to testify against me at the hearing. He told me that they did not want to come, but were forced to, as officers of the empire. They could not refuse......and I understood this as part of their duties. I harbored no ill will against either for their participation in this matter....for I knew the same regulations applied to all government employees. It was at this point that I made the decision of my lifetime. To fight or flee........that was the question before me. Up to this point.....I was ready to fight for my dignity, honor and equality. But that was before knowing that they had brought their "secret weapon" to bear down upon me. They knew my weakness, my love for her......and calculated their move well. Faced with this new dilemma, I could no longer stand and fight. I could never face her again only to watch as she had to be my undoing. I would not allow her to take this guilt. I could not stand to see her shed more tears in my name. To avoid any further pain to either "Anna" or her friend........I capitulated to the empire. I surrendered my body and soul.....my dignity, my redemption. Could I have won....... possibly.......but it was not worth the pain of having to see "Anna" bear the burden of such guilt. So I surrendered to the omnipotent empire. At this, I told the judge I would accept their settlement.....to resign my position and thus, end my career. As I demanded that the government remove and destroy any adverse information they held on me and allow me to resign to return to college.....someone was not happy. The attorney for the government was upset at the concessions I pushed for. Then, in the only act of mercy I had seen from anyone in a long time.....the judge did something unexpected. He angrily turned toward the attorney and uttered these words...."What more do you want from the guy? You have taken everything he has got!". With those words, the government backed down and granted the modest concessions I had sought.

Though my career was over.....and my life in ruin....I had spared my "Anna" and her friend the pain and guilt of what would have been so hard to see and feel. I would not subject them to any more pain of the type we had at the academy. In this respect, my sacrifice was worth it. The courtroom fell silent as I accepted my defeat. My friends looked with sadness at me......knowing it was over. With that.....I gathered up my belongings, said some parting good-bys.......and departed the building. I never actually got to see "Anna" again...as she was in another room. As I walked to the car.....my life in shambles, my love lost, my dreams over....the tears came and sorrow was mine again. Fate had finally won. Fin.

This concludes Episode 1, My soul of the Moon, Guilt, Regret and Love!. Though this battle was over, my war raged on with the empire. That is a story for Episode 2. Soon to come..........