Saturday Morning Escapades

So I rise early today. Time to give a class in the city of Torrance. The type I usually help my cousin with...gardening and composting. At 9:00am...only one person showed and it looked like it was going to be a slow day. Fortunately...15 minutes later...we had 30 people. I hate to speak unless there is a good crowd.
So today...there was.

However...to start the day...my car battery was dead. Believe it or not...that car has some sort of ghost living in it. For mysterious reasons I cannot explain...hours after I park it, the radio comes on by itself...and drains the battery down. It is a fatory radio and has never been spliced into to. It reminds me of that old movie "Christine". You know the one...where the old Plymouth has a life of it's own and the radio plays only oldies songs. Sometimes I will have people call me and ask if I knew the radio was playing...hours after I stopped driving it. Very strange. So I had to get a ride with my assistant to give the class.

Afterwards...we wnt back to my place...where I jumped my car and off to my cousin's office we went. I then took my cousin's truck to the recycler and cashed in $32 worth of plastic bottles and cans. Not bad at all.

So now it is 2:45pm and here I am typing on my computer. What will I do the rest of the day? I really don't know...but I am quite tired and my back is hurting...so maybe I will go back to my hovel for some rest.

Mothers' Day Sunday - Poetry Corner

Well...this Sunday is Mothers' Day. I will probably send my mother some flowers. She is 71 years old...and still relatively healthy. She can still drive good. My father died almost 9 years ago.

What I would really like to do...is to wish my love..."Anna"...a very happy mothers' day. I hope her kids are doing well. Too bad I can't give her some flowers too. But you know how it is. So long as I carry the burden I do...I have to remain in exile. It is a most lonely road I travel...filled with obstacles and mountains. This poem is for her...my love.

"This is to your large dark eyes...your raven hair flows gracefully by. Hence to thee I speak of love...that may your life be filled... with gifts from above.

To times of past...to years of old...of words not spoken of secret love. Distant rains fall from the gray sky...like tears of sorrow from my eyes.

When last I saw your smiling face...was a time of my disgrace. So as I stood in proud repose...that my time was over...you did not know.

For when you left that fateful day...I so wished that you could stay. But our trails were split at last...in the tempest that Hell had cast.

Now as I look back upon so many years...and realize my greatest fears. In the time it takes to wake...the joy of life we do forsake.
All that was is lost forever...though of the heart we cannot sever.

So it is with you and I...two lost souls in spacious skies. Like the sun and moon that chase each day...always linked...forever to stay.

The light...the dark...the mystery. That is what was made for me. Like the sun that shines so bright...and unwraps those shadows of the night.

But with the light...must darkness come...and cover all who see the sun. For each day it is the same...as the moon puts out the solar flame.

So with joy...does sadness come...to reclaim our lives absent the sun. But there is hope for us to see...as each new day brings to us...our families!

Therin lies the strength of us all...that when hope fails...love will not fall. Together branded for all time...that must we seek our kindred minds.

So it is for her and I...lost forever in time and space. Never again to meet...face to face. But in my soul shall you yet live...as my heart beats...and my spirit gives.

Now with that I must say...please have a happy mothers' day!"

Written by Tony
May 6, 2005

Windows XP Upgrade

Finally...after a long and frustrating journey...I have windows XP installed on my home computer. What a hassle it has been. Not because of XP, but because of crappy computers. I had an old Compaq Presario operating at 400mhz with Windows 98. Even though I had almost 400 megabytes of ram...it was still slower than molasses. Recently I came across a CPU at a thrift store for $5. They didn't know if it worked...but for a 5 spot...hey, I would try it out. Unfortunately...it had a problem with it's 40 gig hard drive...which would crash without warning. Not good.

So...I replaced the primary drive from my old compaq...and stuck it in the new box. Then I had to do some reconfiguration...but eventually...it worked. When I had the compaq and was running windows 98...I could never get XP to install...as it would freeze up about half way through. Now...for whatever reason...I did a clean install last night. Presto...XP up and running. After that the biggest problem was connecting to the net. It took all this morning to get the settings where they would communicate correctly with my DSL modem. So...here I am...finally. Before this...I would usually post from my computer at my cousin's office...but it is now just as easy here. Now I will finish gutting out the old compaq for the cd/rw drive...the zip drive...and install the extra 40 gig hard drive as slave. Then add a gig of DDR ram and I should be good to go.

EEOC election - another battle awaits.

I just received a notice of election from the TSA Office of Civil Rights. The notice is for me to request a hearing before an EEOC Judge regarding the injury I incurred while a baggage screener. It is that...or have the agency make a final decision. Fat chance there...as it has been my experience that if left to the devices of any government agency...they will never admit wrongdoing on their part for anything.

Oh yes...I definately will be requesting a hearing before the EEOC. At least TSA will have to defend their actions before a third party. Remember...TSA is barred from having a Union...so any protections are welcomed. Thanks to TSA...my back is never going to be the same. I look forward to this hearing...and my chance to hold them accountable for their negligence.

Jeez....how many times do I have to defend myself against the government before I am vindicated? It seems like I have been doing this forever...well at least 13 years anyway. It seems like it is never going to end. I am getting so sick and tired of it. I am getting so drained by the constant battles. If you take the governement's position...I might as well be Hannibal Lector...or Adolf Hitler. So atrocious are my crimes against humanity that I must wear the scarlet letter forever. Typical government tactics...crucify the little guys and whitewash the higher ups. Just like the Ahbu Gharab Prison in Iraq. The only person really being punished is Lance Corporal Lyndee England. All of the officers were exonerated. You can't tell me that at least some officers didn't know what was going on...and sanctioned it.

Remember the Navy scandal of Tailhook. How many of those officers walked away clean after engaging in that debauchery? How many girls were assaulted? It is the same way all over the government service...military or civilan. Roast the peons on the open flame while the elite staff maybe gets a slap on the wrist. What hypocracy! What a load of crap! So here I go again...into the flames of battle...and the government shall cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war.

Baby Opossum

Last night at about 9:00pm I get a phone call from my cousin...who tells me that he caught a baby "possum" at a nearby park. If you have never seen one of our North American Opossums...they look alot like a large rat. Ugly tails and all.
But...they are probaly the stupidest mammal alive. Not much in the brain department. That's why in places that have possums...you see them flattened in the road all the time. You would think that a creature the size of an adult possum would live at least 10 years...but unbelievably...they only live to about 3 or 4 years. Very short lives.

Anyway...he call me and wants to know if I want the thing. I told him if it were small enough...my lizard might eat it. So I check it out...and it is about the size of a rat...but too big for my lizard. Ugly little cuss. I will probably just release it somewhere. I'll get a couple of pics of it before then...and post them up. See if you don't agree...looks like a rat. The common possum...I can just hear granny from the Beverly Hillbillies saying..."come an get that thar possum innard stew Jethro!" Mmmm Mmmmm good!

Unusual Phone Call....

Last night...about 6:30pm...I received a call on my phone. When I picked it up a lady was on the other end and told me she wanted to speak to Tony. It was somewhat difficult to hear what she said...as her voice seemed far away. I asked several more times who she wanted...and each time she said she wanted to talk to Tony. Something did not seem quite right...so I asked her who she was...to which there was a slight pause in her answer. Then in a somewhat softer voice...she said her namw was "Pam". I asked her who she was with...and even softer yet...she stated "Ultra Fitness"...and that she need to speak to Tony.

By this time...my defenses were up. It seemed odd that this person would be calling me...even to sell a exercise program...just using my first name. Not once was my lastt name used. So suspecting some sort of bill collector...or investigator...or who knows what else...I told the lady that Tony was at work and she stated that she needed to speak to him. I relayed that he would be back in a couple of hours and that if she tried at 9:00pm...he would be back. She seemed disappointed not to be able to speak to Tony. She acknowledged what I had told her...but never called back.

Who was she? I don't know. Over the years I have become somewhat paranoid over phone calls I get. Sometimes they are bill collectors...credit agencies...government poeple on official business...investigators etc.
You get the idea. I rarely answer my phone anymore...and have the machine pick it up. I have had several occasions where strange cars would sit below my apartment for hours on end...with the occupants...constantly looking at my windows and wrting things down. I have intercepted cell phone calls over my phone line from people in the vicinity watching the activities of someone...name not known. I have been followed several times by strange cars for a number of miles...only to have them drive away when I approached my apartment.

Am I a little bit paranoid? You bet! If you had gone through the things I have the last 13 years...you would be too. Whoever it was...I hope they call back and let me know their intentions via my message machine. I don't like to lie and tell cover stories about not being home...but untill I feel safe and secure...that is the way it will have to be. It is no fun being a black sheep.

The Dog Pound

Today, while helping my cousin with an event in a nearby city...I walked down to the SEACCA animal shelter to see what their new building looked like. Very nice inside...at least for the people. While I was standing there, a woman walked in and told the receptionist that her roommate moved out of their place...and abandoned her 2 dogs. The woman said she worked to much to take care of them...and wanted to turn them into the shelter for adoption. She said that the 2 dogs were miniture schnauzers about 7 months old. The woman was asked several questions and she had replied that she had cared for the dogs for about 3 weeks now.

That was the wrong thing to say. The woman was told that because she had cared for them...even for a few weeks...the only thing they could do was euthanize (kill) them. After some begging and pleading...the woman was promised that they would try to find a new home first. In addition, she also had to pay the shelter $55 to take the dogs in. I really felt sorry for that woman and the friend who was with her...as they almost in tears in having to give the dogs up. Living in a small apartment...I certainly did not have room...though I wish I did. I hope someone adopts them before they are killed...as they were really nice and friendly dogs. It would be a great shame if they have to put them "down".

The Los Angeles Riots....13 years later.

It was 13 years ago that the City of Los Angeles suffered from the riots that killed 64 people...and burned over 1,100 buildings. I can remember the event...not because I was there at the time...but because I was not there. You see...at the time the riots were happening, when martial law was declared, when LA was burning...I was going through my own major episode at Glynco, Georgia. It was difficult to watch as my home port was under siege...and I was helpless to do anything.

It was at this time that I was having my own problems at the academy. I had made some mistakes regarding my love interest...and things started going downhill real fast. Just prior to the riots...I had been ordered avoid her at all costs...by command of the Director. It was bad enough for me to be losing the girl I loved...but to see my city locked down...burning in anger.
It was the double jinx. I had to try and endure these pressures...but it was a losing battle. My mind and soul...clouded by my love for her...could not function as they should have.
The problems seemed to be compounded by the day. My choices were so limited in what I could do. Especially given the fact that I was under direct orders of the staff to avoid even looking at her.

Boy...some choice. Not only did I have to be near her most of the day in class....but after that...she was only feet away from me...in the next room. Yet I was expected to honor the orders I had been given. So here I was...watching my love life crumble...my career crumble...and my home city crumble. Just how much could one guy take anyway? Even when things got so bad...the staff still refused to let me move to another room. Well...you get the idea of what it was like for me. To top that off, I had to watch helplessly as a fellow classmate moved in on my girl. Day after day...he would be with her...and he would be in her room...the one next to mine! It was unbearable. It was utter torment. It was my own private hell in exile.

So yes...the LA riots have a special meaning for me...above and beyond the class struggle. It was the time that signaled the end of my life as I would know it. It was a time when the weakness of men failed and my dreams were to be forever buried. It was the true start of my fall from grace...to my utter disgrace and embarassment. How quickly did things fall apart? It all happened within the span of a few short weeks. As my life crumbled away...still...the torch of love I held for her...and still hold for her. I cannot love another...as 13 years of separation still has not dimmed the flame of love that burns within my soul.

But you may wonder...did the riots effect me personally? Well, besides the immediate tribulations...I was to learn but a few weeks later that a storage unit I had rented was vandalized and burned. So to were many possessions I had owned...including a classic car I was restoring. All gone...just like the embers of my life. Despite the tremendous pressures weighing down on me...did the academy staff even care...the heartless bastards? Hell no! They did virtually nothing to help me get through the crap that was going on. I was prohibited from communicating with her...denied any room changes for weeks on end...never referred to see any counselor or priest. So what did they expect me to do? Well...as one of the class instructors told me "buck it up". I tried...God did I try...but it was still useless. I was but inches from a complete nervous breakdown by the time the ordeal was over...but still was never allowed to seek counseling. And of all the people there...I was the only one who was ever punished for anything...even though the classmate interloper had came within a hairs breath of launching a physical attack on me...after laying on a verbal barrage. Then I had to stand there silently...while he walked away with my love...arm in arm. That was the final straw...my emotional state could not take anymore...and broke down like I had never done before. Weeks of abuse had taken their toll on me. I was truly beaten down...defeated. It was then that I knew that I had lost the game...the game of love, life, happiness, joy, meaning and purpose. My failure was complete.

So each year at this time...I recall with passion the LA riots...and what they mean for me. The start of many years of tribulation that endures to this day. Sigh........