Not much today....Memorial Day weekend...again!

A very dull day. Not much to write about at all. Oh sure...Memorial Day weekend is here...but there is little to do that does not cost money. I sure wish I could speak to Alma...for it was this same time 13 years ago when I took a trip in my truck from Glynco, Georgia to Disney World...Daytona Beach and the Florida Keys. I was told that she had went to Disney World at the same time with several friends. Of course I did not see her. For some odd reason...she apparently did not go with her best friend...Eloisa. I have always wondered why she did not.

I wonder if she has to work all this holiday...or maybe she has vacation time to use. Sigh......it is tough being the Anakin Skywalker of the 21st century. I would give anything just to hear her voice once again. Even just to see her in a recent photograph would be most satisfying.

If I weren't such a damn coward...I would just call down there and find out the scoop once and for all. But with another pending hearing before the EEOC...the last thing I need is to be accused of doing something illegal.
If you have been keeping up with my saga...then you know what my luck is...absolutely rotten.

Any suggestions from anyone? I really have to know.

Arroyo High School Event

I helped my cousin out today at Arroyo High School in the City of El Monte. We probably had about 500 teens and 25 teachers ask us about composting and water wise gardening. It was well attended and lasted several hours. I help my cousin out on these things to help pay back loans I have gotten from him in years past. It's OK though...as the material is necessary and needed.

Just for conversation...I noticed that the predomonate ethnicity of this high school was hispanic, followed closely by asain, white and then black. By far, the majority of students were hispanic. In fact, I saw maybe 8 white students and 5 black students all day. This demographic seems to be the status quo for public schools in the LA area. Although other schools have either a higher white or black percentage of students...still far less than the hispanic students as a whole.

Of course the reverse holds true for the private schools...or those located in the wealthy parts of LA. Here you find the majority of students to be white...usually followed by asain. Ahhh...the separation of the races based on economic class and location. The fragmentation of the United States into racially and economically divided zones has already begun...and California is leading the way.

Lo siento mi Amor...mi Alma...lo siento siempre!

Cuando esta tiempo...yo leo algunas poemas desde otras personas que escriben las palabras de amo como el pasado y en el presente y en la futura!

Yo creo que ella es en mi corazon desde muchas anos en el pasado. Yo veo al las ojos de sus...estes son muy prieta y con mucho luz de la luna que luminoso a me. Tiene no recuerdo lo sueno? Yo soy aqui en esta estado solomente uno estado desde ti. Su silencia es mismo como el muerte...cada dia. No olvido su caro, sus ojos y su sonrisa muy bonita. Lo siento para todas problemas que traigos a tu. Por favor no olvidame y yo te amo siempre hasta el fin del mundo!

Su secreto amigo,
Tony

More Snaffus for TSA

Unbelievable...just unbelievable! Don't ask me what is wrong with TSA these days. I called the Peopleline HR office to check on getting my SF50...so I could get my annual leave pay reimbursed and my TSP account money. So what do they tell me? Oh...there was a problem with your tenure that popped up in April...we haven't heard anything yet...so that's why you haven't got your separation packet. As a bonus...I was told I needed the separation packet and SF 50 before I could get any money they owed me.

Damn! How long does it take anyway? I mean I was separated way back on January 7...and now it is almost June. What a crock! I just love it...when you owe the government money...that want it now! When they owe you money...who cares when you get paid. What a bunch of crapola.

My guess is that they realized they made a mistake on my separation...such as terminating me as a probationary employee instead of as a permanent one. I am guessing they are trying to figure out how to get out of this one.
Well...someday I might see that money. I am not going to hold my breath though.

Revenge of the Sith

I just got back from watching Star Wars...Revenge of the Sith. It was probably the best of the 3 prequels without a doubt. Awesome movie...though quite dark and sad. Not like the others at all. I guess if you had to compare...it would be most similar to the Empire Strikes Back.

But as I sat watching that movie...it seemed that at some distant level...I could relate to the troubles Anakin Skywalker had that turned him to the dark side. As with me...he started his slide downhill for the love a woman. Even before he sought revenge for his mother's death...he had started the slide downhill after falling in love with Padme. His love for her clouded his mind and logic. It weakened him and thus...allowed the dark side to overtake him.
Hmmmm...where have I seen that before? Was it really no different than my love for Alma back at the Academy.? My love for her clouded my reason and judgement...thus allowing for the "dark side" to control my emotions. Decisions I made were flawed and contorted. Love had done that to me. As a result...like Anakin...I fell out of favor with the Republic. I was soon an Officer of the Rebublic no more. Like Anakin...I had lost what had been most important to me...my love and my career.
I had ended up a shell of a man...not of who I was before.

Even more striking as an interesting parallel...was the death of my instructor at the Academy, B. Moxley, by murder in 1994. She probably would have been equilvilent to a Jedi master teaching a young Padawan. She was graceful and wise beyond her years. I suppose I equate that FLETC Academy not unlike the training that young Jedi's undertook in the movie.

So for me...Revenge of the Sith held a special significance as a rough parallel of my own troubled life. I once held promise...where now I hold none. I once held love...where now I hold none. I once held respect...where now I hold none. I once held happiness...where now I hold none. The movie may have occurred a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...but the story is cut of the same cloth. A cloth that the fictional Anakin Skywalker and I would share. One of perpetual love and sacrafice...without regard to the terrible consequences that would occur.

Only now do I fully understand the power of the "dark side". It led me down the path of ruin. It led me to drive away the one of whom I loved. In the end...it led me to destroy all that could have been. Take this as a warning to all who read these words...beware of the power of the dark side...the dark side of humanity and emotion. For cloud your mind it will...and all that could have been...will never be.

Herp Hunting Expedition

Well, last night I went out with my cousin to Riverside County to look for the infamous California Rosy Boas. We drove around and hiked around the back desert areas from about 5:30pm until nearly 12:00am. Did not see one single snake all night long. In the end...we caught 1 granite rock lizard, 5 western toads, 1 camelback cricket and a number of millipedes. My cousin almost had a nice size kangaroo rat pic...but it managed to slip back in it's hole before the photo was taken.

I am guessing that it was a little too cold and windy last night for the rosy boas to come out. It should be warming up by the weekend and we will probably go out again. Finding those amazing rosy boas takes some skill...knowedge...and a whole lot of luck! They are beautiful little snakes...absolutely harmless or aggressive. Great experience in the rocky Riverside County back country.

Another Full Moon...Another Day of Silence

I went to bed late last night and happened to go outside and was awestruck by the best looking full moon I had seen in a long time. Full, bright and beautiful...just like my love from long ago. Each time I see the full moon...I can't help but think of her. For as I have seen each moon...so has she. Her connection to the moon is as mysterious as the stars above. Her radiance shines as the lunar light spills upon the verdant valleys of Earth far below.
When I look at the moon in all of it's glory...I see reflections of her eyes...as large and shining as that heavenly body.

But yet the silence remains the same. Never a word about her do I hear. Never a response to my blog from her do I read. Why is there such deafening silence between us? Am I truly forgotten for all time. Has she even read one of my posts on here? I have no way of knowing...though I wish I did. I can only dream of things that could have been...if fate would have been kind enough to let them. But that is not the way for me. My life is never easy...always the hard way do I find. Always the lonely path do I take.
Always the broken heart do I feel. This is my reality! My condemnation to hell. Woe is me!

Silence may be golden...but complete silence is death. Totenkopf stalks me every day...waiting for the time I slip up. Waiting for me to become ever weaker. That day is coming...for I cannot hold out forever. My strength is waning...as does the full moon after it's glorious show. If she has any compassion or feelings left for me at all...I would wish only that the silence could be broken...if only for a moment. This is not too much to ask...is it?
I ask this of the Soul of the Moon...that the silence could be broken.

Sigh...a depressive sigh indeed.

Bug Fair - Day 2

Yesterday was the second day of the bug fair. There were hundreds of people milling around checking things out. Not quite as warm as the day before...but still hot. A good day overall. I got a hot tip on where to find some Rosy Boas.
These are small chunky gray snakes that are very docile and easy to care for.
They are constrictors...but are not in the family as true boas and pythons. My cousin and I are going out today later on to see if we can find some. I certainly hope so.

There is a full moon tonight so hopefully we can see them a bit better. I am also taking out a small hand held black light to look for scorpions. In case you didn't know it. Most scorpions will glow under black light. They have special phospherous cells in their bodies that react to black light. It makes them easy to find in the dark. Just another herpetological and arachnid expedition here in Southern California.

The Bug Fair - Day 1

Yesterday was a hot day at the LA Natural History Museum. While most people got booths inside where it was nice and air conditioned...we did not. We got stuck outside by a butterfly pavillion...and when the sun brole through the trees it was hot! As a matter of fact...only 2 people got stuck outside in that pavillion...us and some guy selling caterpillers. Nice huh? I guess LA County doesn't rate high enough to get inside where the AC is.

Anyway...there were many vendors there selling various insects, spiders and scorpions. Most were just carefully prepared mounts. Some were live though.
This was the first time I had ever been to the LA Natural History Museum. They have many interesting exhibits and mounted skeletons. Of course...I took my digital camera and have some cool pics to post on my other blog....

Well...today is another day at the bug fair...it should be just as busy and just as hot.