Thursday, November 03, 2005


Just look at this! Just 2 weeks ago, this very same person called up the building manager and claimed I was blocking her garage. Though my car was only slightly over her space. Now...the same woman has the balls to park right in front of my garage. My car got towed and cost me $150...and they never tried to call me. When I called the manager about her car...they contacted her without the tow job. What a load of BS! Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Well...it was worth a try.

Zippo...nada...zilch. No response of any kind or from anyone (spam not included), regarding my plea to Alma. Does she even have the internet? I just don't know. Presumably she does...and I did put down this blog address on the letter I sent back in February...provided she ever got it.

Too many unanswered questions floating around out there. If I were not such a big coward...I would just call down there and find out once and for all. The thought of getting in more trouble with the feds just makes my stomach turn. Believe me...when you have been as despised by uncle sam as much as I have...things that would have been easy are now very difficult.

As much as I am still in love with her...I am as equally afraid of what the government would do to me if they could hang some trumped up charge on me. I mean...it has been 14 years since my troubles with the government began. Trust me...I can gaurantee that once they get a file on you...it never, ever goes away. They may say it will to your face; but let something happen in 2, 5, 15 or even 20 years later...and that "secret" file will mysteriously reappear.

This is my quagmire....my quicksand...my time vortex. Each and every day. I can only hope that if she is reading this...she can understand my limitations and restraints.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Alma. How can you say nothing?

I really can't understand it. If you have ever read this blog...you know what I have been through and how I still feel for you. Yet...I have heard not a word from you. If you hate me...that I can understand...but I cannot know for sure. Let me know for certain...so I can move on. But your continued silence is not letting me. I feel trapped in a void...long removed from reality. Whenever I even think of the past...my soul refuses to let your memory die. The tears you shed are etched in stone upon my heart.

I ask for nothing in return other than what you would want me to do. If you have ever visited this site...if you have ever received the letter and drawing I sent you in February...if anyone else has ever told you about this site and what is in it...please then, tell what you want me to do. Yes...I am that stupid. Most guys are when it comes to women and love. I just can't move on...and you could help me greatly by just a little note, letter, call...anything. If I knew what you
were feeling, how your life has been...are you happily married etc. I could try and put an end to the daily suffering over you I feel each day.

My healing has never even started...let alone found an end. Maybe you have completely healed and moved on...and I wish you the best. But I have not and I need you to allow me to do so. If you want to curse me for a thousand years...I understand...but at least let me know that.

I don't know how you feel today about me...but I know how you felt for me those many years ago. Either way...could you...or a friend/family member...please convey to me what I need to hear. Good or bad...I am prepared for either. I only ask this much...I do not think it is overly burdensome to ask this much. I would rather know the final answer than go on living my life caught in this time vortex.

If you have any humanity left in your heart for me...this is all I ask.

Sigh.........