Dream Time Again

Another episode in the continuing saga of these dreams of the person of my desire. Another very familiar storyline last night...she was so close...yet so far away. The dream occurred about 5:00am...so I was unable to get back to sleep once I awoke. It was very realistic...full color and dialog.

Why do I keep having these dreams of her that go nowhere? Could it be love, unresolved issues...probably both. It has only been 13 years since I have been have these intermitten dreams. It certainly doesn't seem lile that long ago...but it has been. Where has the time gone anyway? So here I am sitting at my computer at my cousin's office staring at the wall. On the wall are certificates and such I have put up. One in particular catches my eye. For underneath a certificate of graduation from the Customs Service Academy dated May 1992...is a class photograph. In that pic I am standing...and next to me is her. Looking exactly as I remember her in real life. I remember it so well. We were still happy...her smile was still there. Before the end of the life I knew...the loss of the girl I loved...and the terrible humilation that followed. It was another time in which I am now fo far removed. Fading photographs and fleeting dreams are all that I have to remember her by. All that I have to remember my former life...of who I was.

I like to think that maybe...just maybe...the unknown LISA is somehow connected to her. Maybe an alias...a friend...a coworker...or a relative in which she can know about what I write. My thoughts and feelings expressed without reservation. Life is a crapshoot. Always has been. My life has seen little magic...few miracles. But not for the love we experienced so long ago...hope too would be stricken. There must be some modicum of hope...or there is nothing at all.