Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Estoy aqui en cuerpo, pero no corazon y alma.

Es verdad...pero por que? No puedo entiendo mi pasado y mi amor... para ella que vive en el estado de Arizona. Ella tiene muy bonitas ojos y sonrisa como el sol. Yo comprendo solomente sobre que quero en mi corazon de hoy. Yo soy un hombre que amo esta dia con ella y por todo tiempo. No recuerdo quando yo tengo una vida feliz desde mi pasado o futuro! Mi alma gritos para la mujer cada dia...pero nunca mi Alma no peude respueste mi voz. La miranda tiene muy cambios en differente partes del esta pais. Un dia esta como el diablo y otra dia esta como la mariposa. Mismo que ella en mi vida loca. Que lastima!

Well...that concludes the biligual portion of this post. Hey...it may not be perfect, but at least I am trying. For some odd reason...lamenting love seems more romantic in spanish than does it in english. I guess that is why they are called "romance" languages. At times I will listen to the boleros (love songs) on 96.3 El Sol, here in LA. If that doesn't shake those old memories loose...nothing will. Not to mention...it's a good way to learn to listen to spanish. They are slow and clear enough to pick up many of the words. Some are truly haunting.

Regarding music...I like some variety...classic rock...older country...blues and jazz...and of course some foreign. It really depends on the mood I am in. I do know that she likes country as well...for on certain nights back in Georgia...I would hear it wafting through the walls of my room. Sad songs of lost love, death and misery. Trademarks of that genre. When my father was alive and driving trucks...I would go with him at times to help out in the summer. Big tractor-trailers with reefers full of beef. He would always listen to country music...usually the older stuff. I suppose that is how I started listening to it. When you live in rural Idaho, at least back then, there was not much choice in music. I can imagine the same conditions exist for rural eastern Arizona. Quite a ranching area.

Again I find myself lost in memories that just will not fade. I just cannot shake her memory. If ever there was something that lasts forever...it has to be true love. At least for me it has. I have not even seen her for well over a decade...yet I can love no other. I point out that there is a big difference between love and lust. At least for me there is. I can see many beautiful women...but do I love them? No...not like I love her. Love is a much deeper and profound feeling. Something that has a connection between souls that cannot be easily explained. It has been a long journey for me. One that has been very draining...but one I would not trade for anything. For of all the people I have liked...and loved...she has had the strongest and most profound impact upon me. I feel the connection and bond still holds strong for me. I can't say what it holds for her, as many years have past between us. This is what the mystery of life holds...the uncertainty of life, love and death. I would have it no other way.

2 Comments:

At 1:28 AM, Blogger Rosemary Welch said...

Wow! Did you see anyone special? Yikes! Keep that spider out of my house! He might chase the cats. I don't know, maybe they will try to play with it. lol. Have a great day, tomorrow. I hope you are feeling better.

 
At 1:39 AM, Blogger Rosemary Welch said...

Dear Tony,
Sorry. You wrote another one while I was commenting on it!

I didn't know you speak Spanish. I love Country music. I love Soul, old time Rock and Roll, and some jazz. I like bands sometimes, too.

I hope you find the love you deserve. Even if she doesn't come back, someone can love you just the same, only different. Been there, done that.

Have a good night.

 

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