Today's Ramblings

Not much for news today. I am at my cousin's office sitting at my real computer....not that old antique "dinosaur" I have at home. Boy what a difference an upgraded processor and memory can make. It is like night and day.

I usually wright my stories and musings on the good computer....as it loads so much easier. Much improved over my old 400mhz machine. I find that my thoughts are much more clear in the confined space of my cousin's office. It seems that my brain cells need that type of stimulation to work efficiently.

Of late....I have been rescuing old 35mm slides from my family dating back to the fifties. Some are in poor shape. I have a few of when I was maybe 2 years old...at the most. All told, I have close to 600 slides. I purchased a Minolta Dimage slide scanner last year on Ebay. It works very nice in converting those slides to digital format. I then use Microsoft Digital Image Suite 10, to "fix" the scanned photos before writing them to CDs. A real slick operation at preserving those old family momentos. Saved forever on CDs.

I will also be scanning in old documents, papers and records to burn to CD. A great thing if your originals should ever get lost, or destroyed. I find that this activity keeps my overactive mind from
drifting as far. I have daydreams if I let myself go.

I would think of nothing but my love for her if I did nothing. How can it be that 13 years after the fact, I still have the same level of feelings for someone? It does seem strange...does it not? But yet,
here I am....thinking of her and wasting away my days locked in a fantasy land. So it is that I must direct my thoughts to other ventures. When will it stop? I just don't know....but after 13 years...it seems like it won't be any time soon.

I sit in my seclusion and aim my words of thought into the void of cyberspace. Safely behind a monitor.....but truthful as can be. I have no shame for being here. I have no reason to hide. I do not use an alias to mask my intentions. So many others have I seen that hide their identities in their screens. The names they use are
fantasy driven....a conglomeration of all that they hope to be.
So in this respect....they differ little from me. We have the same desire to express ourselves and to be understood. To put forth the effort to understand those of whom we interact. To grasp the world as it is.....yet dream of the world as we wish it could be.

The trials and tribulations of life effect us all. That is what binds us in this common cause to publish our thoughts for all to see. That is my motivation. I have the hope that those who I have loved, those that I have hurt and those who are my friends and enemies...can come to understand my rationale for my actions. Behavior which may seem odd at the time...can sometimes be explained by circumstances that we each endure. We are weak creatures...easily corrupted and swayed. So it is that I have to find an outlet for my explanations and justifications. That is my attempt in this forum. To show to all who I really am. How my mind and emotions work.....what makes me say and do the things I do.
It is a lonely path....for most people have built walls so high and thick that seeing the true selves of each....can be impossible.

I have no qualms to spreading bare my soul and mind. What more do I have to hide in my life? As it stands now....it is an open book anyway. The least I can do is add my point of view and perspective to what some may question. It validates my mundane existence. So it is with hope that I ask all who read these missives of mine.....to keep your mind free and open. To read with your heart and soul the words and thoughts I extoll. For they are written with honesty, sincerity and emotion. My window to world around me.....past, present and future. And if it should be that my love of long ago should happen upon these pages.....I hope that you can understand a little of what I have been through these many years. Of those times of past....I can never forget....as surley as the sun rises, the world turns and the stars shine.