The Dating Game.....sigh!

Here is something that happened recently that makes one think. The dating scene in America....is it just me....or does it happen like this all over? My case in point.

Last Friday...I was down watching my friend's bowling team at league play. Well....he and his team-mates are always trying to be matchmaker for me. Well....last Friday there was this girl who they said was interested in me. Not that I was looking....as I have not been able to shake my love of "Anna" from so long ago. But they insisted I play along and see what developes. So I did. She seemed to be interested enough.....I even bought her a drink....to which she thanked me several times. She was talkative and friendly. So for several hours of bowling (not me....back injury), I played along.

But yesterday....here we go again. The same girl was quite unresponsive....not too talkative and somewhat distant and cold. I tried to buy her another drink.....as my friends insisted, but she refused it. For the rest of the time, she barely looked at me and just as soon as she had finished bowling....she left. I noticed that she was on her cell phone several times over the course of bowling....talking to someone. I don't know who.

Not that I had any real attachment or affection for the girl....but it did seem strange of her behavior from one week....to the next. It really brought back some memories of my difficulties communicating with "Anna" 13 years ago. Is it just me? Am I such a loser in the romance department? It would seem so....judging from the luck I have had with women. I guess I just no good with women....a born hermit.

I can probably attribute this deficiency by not being properly socialized in school. I was a classic geek, nerd etc... Never had dates and I was not popular. So I never really got to interact with women on a personal level. I never got the chance to learn the trade of the dating game. Same thing with college....I just could not talk to women. They scared me to death. I could pick up deadly snakes and spiders....no problem. I could drive a souped up car way over the speed limit.....no problem. I could walk into a strangers yard to ask about an old car....no problem. I could venture alone around the world....no problem.

But.....women....they were another story altogether. For this...I was scared. The fear of rejection and humiliation was a danger even greater than the stupid things I had done in my life. It should not have to be this way, but for some people...it is.

That was probably why I could not talk to "Anna" as I should have all those years ago. Why I ended up failing so miserably. Yes....I am a failure at the dating game.....that is my destiny. I have paid for that failure many times over. Never to learn....never to get it right......never to know the joy. My burden...my cross....my chains to bear.

Sigh.........