The Double Standards of Love

Well.....this should be interesting. I have been considering a topic that I have long thought of. What hypocracy society places on love. It is revered on one hand.....vilified on the other. What gives anyway?

Here is my argument. How many times have you seen movies, tv shows and printed material extol the virtues of love.....and the extent one will go through to win that one true love. It is a main focus of our society. We have no problem going to see some sappy romance/comedy flick.....or read the same in some novel.....about the outrageous lengths people will go to to win a loved one. Usually it is the man who is the pursuer.....and he is the one to take the risks of rejection, embarassment and reprecussions. I can't even begin to count the number of movies Hollywood has put out over the years in which this story has unfolded.

In most cases, the man has to go through a literal "hell" before he can win his love interest, as if he had to prove himself worthy.
The permutations of what he has to endure are without end. Loss of jobs, jail time, loss of family, alcoholism, drug use, restraining orders......and the list goes on. But in our popular society of cinema and books.....these pitfalls are completely acceptable....almost encouraged. Sort of like a rite of passage to some pagan festival. A catch 22 of the real world.

But.....and I mean but......if some poor real average schmuck should try even a small percent of the crap society shoves down our throats each year......call the police and throw the bum in jail is the battle cry. It is not long before the accusations fly.....stalker, molester, pervert, weirdo and deviant.....are just a few of the words the poor schmuck is likely to hear. Restraining orders are dished out like candy on Halloween.

Of course I have personal experience in this area. I was one of the thousands of poor schmucks caught in this trap. It cost me dearly to emulate what Hollywood, media and magazines have put forth for decades and centuries. To put it in another way.....just how many couples out there have had their love interest.....over the course of their courtship and afterwards.....give them Love letters, or poetry and other such "gifts". I would suspect that a majority of people have done this. It is a totally acceptable custom in most societies. But for me....it was a huge disaster. Who would have thought that a few love letters, poetry and innocent hand drawn pictures would be the basis for branding me for life as an undisirable element. Banned for life from the mainstream.

I never once asked for sex, tried for sex, forced myself on her, grabbed or molested her. Never. Yet it seems that if you are the ruling elite...taking advantage of women for sexual pleasure is part of your job.....and society looks with a blind eye. Just look at the failing of our elected leaders....Clinton on down.....and the financial power elite. It is pervasive throughout our society. I guess if I had been just one of the "good 'ol boys" after just one thing....I would still be an agent of the realm.

So what lesson did I learn.......true love sucks! It is better to be a
shallow, self-serving, bottom feeding scumbag....than to be a nice guy. That old axiom "nice guys finish last" really has a ring of truth.
Guess I should have gotten tattoed, used drugs excessively, commited a ton of crimes and done hard time in the pokey. Oh, I almost forgot.....used and abused all the women I could find. I am sure I would have fit right in then. Hell, how many supervisors I worked under in the INS did the same? At least 3 that I know of. Yes.....and I would still have the career they did.

It does a soul good to vent every now and then.