MY SOUL OF THE MOON-Chapter 6

How could it be that things could have gone so badly.....in so little time? So bad as to bring such suffering to those involved? I just couldn't understand what was going on. The atmosphere was as poison, the air as thick as deadly gas. For each soul had tried to cope in their own way....but it did not seem to matter. As the anger built up.....the tears still fell, and any act of forgiveness was lost on all. I don't know what kept me from violating the directives that the empire had chained me with? Perhaps it was the years of my military service....which kept me under their yoke. But for whatever reason, my silence was not worth the pain that "Anna" and her friend suffered. Not even close! But when you are 3,000 miles from home, alone and confined to a training center of the State.....service to the realm was demanded.

And so it went on...day after agonizing day....week after agonizing week. Hell could have been no worse than the pain I was experiencing....the sorrow I felt....the empathy I absorbed...and the love that once was. As if to show me a vision of my future.... fate had even allowed me to watch from afar.... my home city of Los Angeles burning in violence during the riots. Watching while martial law was declared...while troops patrolled the streets...while my co-workers and friends were locked down at the airport, while my neighborhood burned.....and like my current tribulations, there was nothing I could do. The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming. What more could go wrong?..... I asked of the heavens, as my life crumbled, my love was lost, my career in question and my hometown burned in anger! My answer was not long in coming.

The desolation was nearly complete....but not quite...for fate had not yet emptied its' Pandora's box upon me. There was more to come in the little time that remained.

So poisoned was atmosphere that existed within our circle of players; that even my rival was, at times, being spurned by my "Anna". He had tasted the the bitter agony of rejection...and on occasion...would shed a tear. Why was he being spurned...I really did not know...other than it was probably due to me. Deep inside, I believe her love of me persisted...causing a conflict that could not be resolved. And time marched on. I had slid further into depression and solitude...not wanting to cause any other person more pain than I already had. I became as a hermit...rarely venturing out except to attend training and classes.....always fearful of the might of the empire. The terrible retribution that would befall me if I failed again.........and with my rivals own problems.......another enemy to be wary of.

Days passed as time was frozen . The burden was great; yet somehow I still managed to pass the courses, still made the grades, fired the weapons....drove the cars... and simulated the arrests. How I did it, I don't know. But in the end, it was all for naught. As I had closed in on the ending of the training, with only weeks to go, it seemed as if there would be an ending to all the suffering and pain that had endured for months. That perhaps my wounded heart and soul could start to heal. That perhaps I could ask forgiveness of "Anna" and her friend for the pain that I had caused. That perhaps God had finally decided to step in and release us all from the chains of torment that had been our prison these many weeks. However, as I had said....fate was not quite done, as I was soon to find out!

To be continued................