Ham Radio Licenses and Angel Prayers

Here is an offbeat story which just goes to show...it is a small world after all. Just today I was seeking to renew my expired HAM radio license I have had for years. I have renewed it several times in the past. Usually they are good for about 10 years. I had mine since 1981, when I was assigned to work at a MARS (military affiliate radio station) station in Guam. My civilian call sign was WH2ADK. It was unique because it was assigned to Guam. When I left the military, I kept the same ham sign where ever I went. I had a technician class license and never bothered to upgrade to general, advanced or extra class.

Rather then try and renew via the FCC, as I had done in the past...I was told I could do the same thing for 8 bucks on the QRT website. I checked it out and it looked easy enough. I tried to find my callsign...and it was not there. It seems it had already been released for reallocation. I called and was told I would have to apply to the FCC directly to get it reissued...perhaps as a vanity callsign. Anyway, as I was checking out the soon to be expired call signs...hoping to find mine...I ran across the callsign of KB7WXH. It was set to expire as it had not been renewed. What I found so shocking was that it belonged to a person I once knew...a woman who was the roommate and friend of a girl I had/still hold a flame for back at the FLTEC academy many years ago. Her name was Eloisa...and it was definately her...same city in Arizona. I had no idea that she too was a radio amateur operator. Just seeing her name...brought forth many memories...both of her and of Alma. I still feel so guilty, remorseful and sad for what these 2 fine people had to go through in that hellhole. I still hurt when I think of how I screwed things up so much...or how I lost her friendship and Alma's love.

Perhaps you know what it is like to see, hear or talk to someone you cared deeply about...but had been estranged for over a decade? Time for me is just a vivid...the hurt just as real...the tears just as sorrowful.

But as odd as this was...there was one more thing. Curious to see if any more information about this kindred ham was in cyberspace...I googled her name...as last I knew it. There was but one entry for her...and it was from 1999. It was a website dedicated to angel prayers. Many people had used this site...to ask for angel prayers for themselves or for others. In 1999 she had entered one request to have an angel prayer answered for her and john...citing that both needed some guidance. No explanation was there of the type of trouble they were having. It moved me greatly...and my eyes teared up at the thought of something gone wrong in her life. I don't think the website is active anymore...as the last entries were made in 2003. Even so...I replied with an angel prayer for them...so that if they were still together...their troubles would be relieved. It is likely it will never be posted on any board...but as long as it gets to the right person/angel...that is what really matters after all. I even left a request for myself...as 13 years of guilt, remorse, heartbreak and anguish...are about all I can stand. There is not a day that goes by. I remember the tears they shed...the sadness...the anger...and the hurt. Nothing in my life has hurt me as much as that time did.

Maybe someday an angel will answer for all of us.