THE DECADE OF SORROW - Chapter 2

As a result of the loss of that dog handler job....I took both agencies back to court. And so loomed yet another drawn out affair. In the end, I was to accede to yet another settlement agreement...this time with the new agency. In exchange for them rescinding my "unsuitable" rating....I was to never again.....for the rest of my life......apply for another position with them. Would the persecution and suffering ever end for me? Barred for life because I had fallen in love years before. It was a crushing defeat. It seemed the malice and vengence of the empire had no bounds....for who was I to persecute with such hatred.....a simple and honest man. I did not yearn for power, greed, or lust.....as was the status quo of the ruling elite. The empire could easily forgive them of their many sins.....crimes.....depravity....and yet, could find no room to forgive me. How typical.

As a result of this latest war of persecution.....my old agency had at least one person who had a conscience. At least he tried. The Assistant Regional Director for Human Resources had did his best to reign in the empire.....and its' lust for my blood. He sent out a memorandum to all within the Los Angeles District Office telling them to stop violating the settlement....to follow the conditions therein. A Memorandum Of Understanding (MOU) was reached and issued. I thought that perhaps I might have some respite from the long years of persecution. Again I was wrong. Fate would intercede once again. The empire still ran rampant....ignoring the orders issued from on high. At every turn and twist.....I was to feel the sting of their might. The insidious way they could destroy a life, with but a lift of a finger. As I discovered.....the empire had spread its' disinformation about me far and wide. The more I dug into their records......the more I realized that it had been so compartmentalized......that I would never be able to ensure its' removal and destruction. Records continued to pour in from the four corners of the empire....records long thought surpressed and hidden. I was relentless in my quest for information and used the FOIA and Privacy Act to the fullest extent. What I could not get through that....I would get through the numerous court battles I had been forced to partake of. It all led to one inescapable conclusion.....the empire would use its' own beauracracy to bind me....and drive me into ruin.
I had no defense against this scheme....as they controlled the access to information...and thus.....held the key to my survival. What they did not want me to see.....I would not see.
That was the power that they held. A little leak here.....a little talk there....would be all it would take to ensure my continued unemployment. And on it goes..........

It was about this time that another twist of fate took shape. As I was to find out just a few months after the MOU order was sent out. As it was....I needed to contact that Regional Administrator again to let him know of the empires' disregard for his orders. To my surprise....I was told he was sick and would "out" for a time. The weeks went by and I was told this on several occasions. A had finally managed to talk to someone who was all too happy to help. I was to find out.....like the judge before......he was no longer at that office. In fact....he may have not even been with the agency anymore. No one ever divulged to me what his fate was.....but I was never again to hear from him, talk to him or see his signature on any documents thereafter. It seemed like every where I went, those who had tried to help....were falling by the wayside.
And my anger grew. Who were these people to be above the law? It was not unlike the "Star Chamber" all over again. What could I have possibly done to cause such fury and discord among them? The answer was plain to see......for I had helped topple a regime of the empire.....and there could be no leniency for that. And so the war continued......the war to drive me into financial and social ruin. And it was working. My list of allies had grown thin......and people became more relunctant to fight....as the losses built up. The very mention of my name in the hollowed halls of the empire inspired most to shun me.....as they did not want to befall the fate that had visited others who came before.

The years slowly passed by......with no resolution in sight. The battles were waged in a number of forums, boards, commissions and courts. How many battles had there been over the years........no less than 10 I could think of.....and probably more. I was the pariah that the empire wanted me to be. A refugee in my own country.........destined to be "blacklisted" for life. It brought back shades of the McCarthy era......of communist witch hunts. For was it not them who had labeled me a "communist sympathizer"?. They spared no measure of the absurd in tarnishing my image. I was to find out later that my college advisor......a person of palestinian descent....was questioned about me and my loyality.....as if I had some ties to the P.L.O.! There would be no bar low enough that they could not crawl under. All the while.... the real criminals and deviants skulked around the marbled halls of the empire......secure in the knowledge that it was a system of "do as I say, not as I do". Justice and equality for all.......my ass!

And so it went on......and as it did.....my thoughts still brought me back to the years past with the one I had loved. I wished that those times of happiness could return again. Back when things were much simpler......when the weight of the world had not burdened me.....before I had became an enemy of the state. Though the rest of my life was controlled by the wants and wishes that fate brought.....my love of her never dimmed, never failed....and never died. It was the one constant I could count on.....the one thing which I had sought to bring me through each trial and tribulation. The one thing that kept the empire from crushing me under its' boots. How I had wished for a return to the time before the pain, the hate, the sorrow, the regret and the guilt. But it was a wish that would never come to pass. That was to be my fate.....as the months turned into years.....and the war raged on.

To be continued...................